Prayers for All Occasions
May 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Last Sunday at the Adult Sunday School that I teach at my church, we talked about the different types of prayer. In a group brainstorming session, we listed the different ways we pray. Far from a theoretical, academic or exhaustive compendium, this is an experiential compilation of how prayer works in the lives of a group of amazing souls. I share it here:
Supplication - This is prayer in which you ask Source for some outcome, as in "Source, please heal my illness." Sometimes the best way to pray in supplication is to add, "I ask for this or whatever serves my highest good." This recognizes that our narrow viewpoint may not include the goodness or lessons that Source might offer, which are far more perfect than anything we could conceive of.
Intercessory - This is prayer is for the well-being of others, as in "I ask for your blessings for my daughter and son."
Bargaining - A form of supplication, you bargain when you promise God or Source something in return for the blessing sought. Hey, we all do this from time to time, but we recognize that Source’s love is abundant and Source probably just chuckles (metaphorically) when we bargain-pray.
Surrender - The best example of this is Jesus’ prayer on the cross when he said, "Not my will, but Thy will be done." Surrender happens when we hand over to Source or God our worries, our grasping for a desired outcome and recognize the abundance of God’s blessings.
Ritual Prayers (Lord’s Prayer, the rosary) - These prayers are pre-scripted and can carry great emotional significance.
Seeking connection - In this type, we ask for connection with Source energy.
Meditation/contemplative/silence - Although our group disagreed over whether meditation is a form of prayer, I list it here. A participant reminded us of the saying, "Prayer is talking to God while meditation is listening to God." For me, meditation is getting in touch with the Divinity within our souls. It’s our attempt to silence the ego’s talk in order to reveal our God Self’s voice. It’s a way to acknowledge our connection with Source in silence.
Affirmative prayer (saying affirmations) - One participant cited Louise Hays’ affirmations, found in her book, "You Can Heal Your Life", as a prayer that she has memorized and uses as a prayer. Affirmations are a way of acknowledging your connection with Source and your strengths and talents.
Breath prayer - A breath prayer is a combination of two or four brief phrases that you mentally repeat on the in-breath and the out-breath. This could be called a long mantra, and is a beautiful way to incorporate repetitive prayers with observation of the breath.
Feel the oneness - Sitting in the knowledge of your connectedness with Source and all that is.
Praise and gratitude - "God is great" is an example of praise, as well as the Hebrew blessing, "Baruch attah adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam" (Blessed are you, King of the Universe). We express the wonder and the mystery of Source in our prayers of praise. Or, we express our deep gratitude to Source for the blessings we receive.
Song, music - Music can transport us to a state that incorporates both our emotions and our spirit.
Nature - Many people, myself included, sense awe, mystery and oneness while in nature. I love to sit in my backyard and just observe - I listen to the birds’ songs and the music of the wind in the tress, I appreciate the vivid colors of my garden, I smell the jasmine vine (see my post about resurrection in the garden), I feel the wind on my face.
Circular prayer - This is a group experience of prayer in which each person sequentially adds her spoken prayer to the collective. Once each person in the circle has spoken their prayer, a collective "amen" is said by the leader or the group.
Visualization - This is a variation of the affirmative prayer, in which we visualize a desired outcome, or visualize a process that leads us to a spiritual awakening. For example, I visualize heavenly light pouring into the top of my head in order to initiative a connection with the spirit world.
Walking - Conscious walking, or walking meditation, is a way of focusing your attention on your breath and your body.
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Memorial Day Tribute to All Families Who’ve Lost a Loved One
May 26, 2008 | 1 Comment
Memorial Day in the US is a day to remember our fallen soldiers. It was always an emotional day for my family of origin, because my Mother lost her twin brother in World War II. Often, we would travel to Mom’s home town in southern Minnesota on Memorial Day to visit my uncle’s grave and to partake in the town’s festivities. I remember the parade that featured the high school marching band, the mayor in a convertible and various veterans groups. The parade would terminate in the town’s cemetery, where my uncle, and now my mother, too, was laid to rest. From the top of Colonel Culville hill in this beautiful wooded cemetery, various local politicians and clergy would address the gathered crowd. Every year, a local high school student would read the Gettysburg Address, that amazingly brief, quasi-poetic speech that memorializes the ultimate sacrifice made by all US soldiers killed in action.
Today, I’d like to memorialize the story of my Mother and her brother’s death. There are millions of stories like this, of families losing loved ones in war; this story is mine to share as a tribute to all families who today grieve the loss of a loved one in war. It is a story of love, of loss, and of life.
Jay (my Mom) and her twin, Irving, had a very close, even psychic relationship - they could communicate without speaking. They finished each other’s sentences. They were ying and yang, contrasts combining to make a whole. Irv had blond, curly hair and was handsome and athletic; Jay had straight brown hair, coke-bottle glasses and was a bit nerdy. They grew up on the family farm in a small rural community in Minnesota.
They attended a Lutheran college together for one year before the winds of war swept through southern Minnesota – even though their other brother was already serving in the Navy Air Force and Irv could have stayed home on the farm, he felt strongly about serving his country in its time of need. Irving enlisted in the Army to become a pilot for the US in World War II.
Unable to continue at the college where they attended classes together, Jay transferred to the university in Minneapolis. It was a desperately lonely time for Jay, who had never been separated from her twin brother. They wrote long letters to each other, and enjoyed their brief but rare visits with their family on the farm.
One night in November, 1944, Jay was restless. She couldn’t sleep, her thoughts constantly turned toward her brothers who were both on active duty. Irving’s safety most vexed her – where was he, and what was he doing? She tossed and turned, unable to sleep, fighting a premonition of tragedy. Before dawn the next morning, there was a knock on her door. She opened it to find her Uncle Reuben, who lived nearby, hat in hand and tears streaming down his checks. He whispered, telling her what she already suspected, “Jay, it’s your favorite. It’s Irving.”
Irving had been killed that night at George Field Air Force base in Southern Illinois, a victim of the haste with which this country had entered into the war, a victim of the haste with which the Army Air Force had assembled airplanes during the war. His plane crashed on take-off due to a mechanical failure and killed him instantly. Uncle Reuben took Jay home to her grieving parents. They buried Irving in the town cemetery, next to his best friend in high school, a soldier who had been killed in Europe 6 months before.
I can imagine that memories of that horrible night and the days that followed would come flooding back to my Mother on Memorial Day, as we stood there in the cemetery honoring the sacrifice that Irving made for this wonderful country. We always cried at the cemetery, just like I am as I write this.
Even though I cannot be there at the cemetery this Memorial Day, in my spirit, I am laying flowers on the gravestone of my Uncle Irving. I pay tribute to him and to all who have given their lives for their country, and for the families who mourn them.
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Is Your Work Calling You?
May 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment
If your work is calling you, answer the phone! Although the word is not often used in business settings, a "calling" is a deep inner assuredness that the work you do - or will do - is your right livelihood. A calling is the work you MUST do because you enjoy it, because it uses your strengths, because it serves a need in the world and because the timing is right. If your work is calling you, you are the most fortunate of human beings.
I have been thinking about work that calls people this week. I was catching up with a professional colleague (a help desk manager) who was describing her plans to go back to school to get a theological degree so she could work in hospice situations. I sensed her passion and told her that she was being called to do this work. My friend was delighted that I recognized the deep knowing and the magnetic pull she felt to do something completely new. I told her that she was doing the right thing, even though she would be giving up a handsome salary to do what she loved.
How do you know if you are being called to some line of work? I see four elements that must align to direct you to work that is a calling:
Talent -
You must demonstrate an innate talent or strength for the work you are considering. How can you play to your strengths? You must consider the demands of the work that you are considering and ruthlessly evaluate your talent in that area. For example, if the job demands that you show strong organizational leadership and you observe that your talents lie in an individual contributor role - well, that’s an obvious mismatch. There is no calling in that work for you.
Serve a Need -
Is there a sufficient need or a demand for the level of talent that you have in your desired field? Unfortunately in a capitalistic market, demand for your talent is a necessity. My husband is a classical musician, and he knows that the current demand for orchestral musicians is low (there aren’t many openings in US orchestras that pay a living wage) and the supply is high. Just before he won the audition for a full-time orchestra position, he recognized that he might need to find another vocation. He was prepared to go back to school to study accounting if he didn’t win a seat in the orchestra.
Passion -
What makes your heart sing? What activities allow you to sink into a blissful state of flow, in which you lose track of time because you are completely absorbed in what you are doing? What would you do even if you didn’t need the money? The answer to these questions direct you to your passion.
Timing -
Many years ago, a colleague refused a job offer I made her, explaining that "Timing is everything, and the timing is just not right for me to take this job." Timing has to be right for you to find your calling. It’s not enough to have talent, serve a need and have passion, I’m sorry to say. For example, if you are 40 years old, you cannot decide to become a concert pianist - even if you have the innate musical talent, you will never be able to develop the technical facility that a concert pianist needs. Your brain discarded the possibility of creating the neural pathways needed for performing piano concertos when you were very young, and there is no way to make up for it. I started to play the viola at age 16, and it was already too late for me to develop the technique I needed on that instrument to become a successful professional musician. And believe me, I worked diligently for 9 years in trying. The same can be said for learning new languages or learning an athletic game (like golf) - as an adult learner, you will not be able to attain mastery of that skill because your brain was not trained when it was young and malleable.
I believe that the universe will reward you when you align these four elements - you will know that you are on the right path because opportunities will start to appear, helpful people will come into your life at just the right time and affirming events will happen. Patience helps when you are making a big change, but the lack of this affirmation could be a warning sign.
What work is calling you?
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30 Seconds is All it Takes
May 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Oprah Winfrey created a blockbuster with her live web class with Eckhart Tolle, author of the book A New Earth. Over a million people have watched some portion of the ten-week series that highlighted the main concepts of his book. The staggering popularity of Oprah’s event demonstrates that humans all over the world are becoming aware of the need to awaken to their own spirituality. In his book, Tolle calls this awakening an imperative, given the earth’s ecological peril and the escalation of the human race’s technological ability to destroy life.
In an interview in the May, 2008 O Magazine, Eckart Tolle answered a question about how to become a non-judgmental space - in other words, how do we incorporate a sense of spirituality in everyday life. In response, he talked about bringing space, or awareness, into your everyday life. He said, “Bring those spaces into your everyday life, as many as possible….Even the busiest person has time for 30 seconds of space.” (page 299)
We’ve talked about incorporating spiritual practices into everyday life in this blog before - after all, that’s what Brio Leadership does. Let’s examine again some ways to observe 30 seconds of space in your life:
1. Breathe. Choose a reminder to consciously take a deep breath at intervals during your day. I use the sound of the ringing telephone to take a quick but conscious breath. You might set your clock to discretely chime on the hour, reminding you to breathe. You might breathe every time you get up from your chair, get in your car, or step out on the street. I make a habit of observing my breath when I am waiting in line. Hey, it makes the wait go much more quickly!
2. Observe. Be aware of your surroundings and notice what is different. I notice the changing of the seasons, the emergence of new leaves in the spring and the shedding of them in the fall. Notice colors, sounds and people around you. One December in the past, I was working in a tall office building. While making small talk before a meeting started, people remarked about the spectacular Christmas decorations that had just been mounted in all the entrances to the building. My colleague looked up and said, “My goodness, I didn’t even notice them. I guess I should take time to smell the roses!” How right she was in her figurative allusion to being observant. We miss so much of life’s rich pageant when we sleep-walk through life. Be observant.
3. Appreciate. Give thanks for the blessings in your life, both small and large. I recently looked up while waiting in the car and appreciated the color of the red car that was in front of a dark green tree - I gave thanks for the stark contrast of the red against the green. Appreciation can be that small. Appreciation can also be transformational. A friend was on a business trip to Japan on Mother’s Day, feeling sorry for herself because she was separated from her children. She took out a pen and wrote down all the things she was grateful for in her life. She says her pity party stopped right away. “I realized I had nothing to be sad about,” she wisely remarked.
4. Smile. Along with appreciating the small blessings in life, appreciate the human beings around you with a smile. It costs you nothing to smile at another sojourner on this spacecraft called Earth, and it can mean so much. Look someone in the eye and smile - yes, even a stranger might smile back at you. See if you can be aware of invisible people - such as the receptionist at work, the waiter and busboy at the restaurant, the checker at the grocery store - and make it a personal challenge to “make their day” with a sincere smile and a short greeting. Sharing a smile is a spiritual practice that bridges our illusionary separateness and acknowledges the oneness of us all.
Why should we take 30 seconds to bring space into our daily lives? Because it reduces stress, reminds us of our connection to Source, and brings us back to the present moment. This is enough for me.
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Every Soul is an Island, Interconnected to the Whole
May 17, 2008 | 6 Comments
“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”
(John Donne, Meditation XVII).
This famous quote from 17th author and poet John Donne is beloved by many. I agree entirely with Donne’s concept that we are each interconnected. However, I have been thinking about the island metaphor in a different way, which actually made me think of Donne’s quotation and ponder its relation to my thoughts. Here is how I’ve re-stated the island metaphor: We are each like an island in the ocean, appearing to be separate and self-contained. The ego perceives us to be separate, “entire of itself”. Like this:
If you can’t see beneath the water, the islands appear to be separate.
But if you pulled the plug on the gigantic bathtub that is the ocean and drained the water out, you would see that each island is actually just a mountaintop, rising up from and connected by the ocean floor. Like this:
Without the water, we see that the islands are connected via the ocean floor.
The ocean disguises the fact that we are interconnected, just as everyday life fools us into thinking we are separate and alone.
In a meditation this week, another image came to mind, and that is the inversion of this image. OK, I know this image is based on an archaic notion that the spirit world (heaven) is above us, but I sometimes still cling to that image. Deal with it! I sometimes appeal to the angels or spirit guides of someone I am praying for or concerned about in my meditation, and I always think of going up to the spirit world to connect with the angels, and then down again to that human being’s soul. And it came to me that in this instance, the island image is inverted.
Whatever image works for you, the concept is the same: We are all connected.
Last Sunday, we discussed this concept at the Metaphysical Mystics Sunday School class at my church. Everyone there agreed that they have felt the connection at one point or another in their life. For some, it is in nature that we feel the interconnectedness of all life. For others, such as me, I comprehend it in meditation or prayer. We had a lively discussion that I’d like to re-create on Brio Leadership.
I invite you to comment on the idea of interconnectedness that I’ve proposed in this post. You might answer the following questions in your comments:
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What is it that connects us? What do you call that - God, consciousness or the Zero Point Field?
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How can we be more aware of our interconnectedness?
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How does our awareness of interconnectedness affect our thoughts and actions?
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Is God or Source the ocean floor for you, or is it the medium through which God communicates?
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Give Negative Energy the Brush-off!
May 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Have you ever been with a person whose negative attitude, perspective or energy seems to suck the very life out of your body? Or, have you ever become aware of your own negative reaction to a person or situation and noticed how it seems to settle in your body? If you are aware enough to notice these situations, congratulate yourself because awareness is the first step in spiritual maturity. What I’d like to share today is a technique to literally brush off negative energy and clear the way for your heart to embrace more loving thoughts and feelings.
When we are exposed to negative thoughts or emotions - whether they originate from others or ourselves - our heart space is most affected. It is our heart, more than our brain, that detects and radiates energy. Researchers have shown that the heart’s energy radiates further from the body than the energy generated from the brain. The heart space is also an antenna for picking up energy that comes at us from others. Therefore, we need to clear the heart space when we feel that we’ve been emotionally or energetically attacked or when we react negatively to outside stimulus.
The body is the best indicator of our emotions and reactions - the body will hold negative energy and feelings. If I sense a tightness in my stomach muscles, I know that I am either tense or feeling attacked. You may feel tension in your shoulders, your head or some other part of your body. Whenever you feel tension, it is a good practice to examine what is causing it and try to eliminate it. If it is negative energy or thoughts that you are holding (which it often is), give the following technique a try.
The Brush-off
It’s easy: With your hand held palm open, you simply brush your heart space with a downward and outward sweeping motion. Start by touching your heart, and then start the sweep. Do this several times and visualize feelings and vibrations being swept away from your body, your heart and your consciousness. You could hold the image of a broom sweeping out your heart as you do the motion. Flick your fingers a few times at the end of the sweep to clear the energy off your hands.
For extra credit, you can then do an aura self-sweep. Hold your hand about 6 inches above your heart space, palm open and facing your body. Slowly draw your hand up and down the front of your torso and head, hovering about 6 inches above your body. See if you can feel any differences in energy in any part of your torso. If you do sense some difference, pause at that spot and perform the sweeping motion described above, but without touching your body. Flick your fingers and shake your hands out to completely disburse the vibrations.
When done, be sure to take several deep breaths to re-energize. Don’t forget to congratulate yourself for being aware and taking action to protect yourself!
You can do this exercise discretely at work or any other place. At work, you can go to the restroom for maximum privacy, or simply turn your body toward a wall in your cubicle so you can discretely do the sweeping motion. I am writing this post in an airport, where I just performed the brush-off in the ladies’ room. Hmm, I feel so much better.
Do the brush-off and feel better!
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Gratitude
May 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Today is my birthday, and I have received numerous calls, emails, presents and cards from people who are dear to me. Thank you, all, for your birthday greetings. I feel blessed to have so many thinking about me and surrounding me with their love. I love you all right back.
With an open heart and a year-older body,
Kristin
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Bloom Where You are Planted
May 9, 2008 | 2 Comments
We can’t always choose where we live, and we can’t control the exact circumstances of our lives, our health, our work or our family challenges. We can, however, choose our reaction to them. In gardening terms, we can choose to bloom where we are planted. Or, we can choose to resist and mentally or verbally protest our circumstances, which results in our unhappiness and a failure to thrive. Your reaction is your choice.
The Physical Garden
There are several layers of interpretation you can apply to ‘bloom where you are planted". First is the physical "garden" you find yourself planted in, such as geographic region, job, family circumstances, or school. I thought of this aphorism as the Search Committee from my church was negotiating with our newly announced pastoral candidate, who will be moving to Texas from Massachusetts. What a big change that will be for the pastor’s family, both geographically and culturally. But in choosing to bloom where they are planted, they will find great happiness here or wherever they go. Each one of us can find moments of peace, joy, and happiness wherever we are.
Gratitude moments help you bloom in your physical garden. I find myself reveling in the physical manifestations of springtime - the lush green of the trees, the flowers that resurrected in my garden, the number of green lizards that we find in our yard. Yesterday, a green lizard greeted me on my garden gate - I bowed in honor of her as she sat boldly on the gate, but had to shoo her away before I passed through. Yes, gratitude enables you to bloom where you are planted. Gratitude grounds you in the beauty and joy of the moment.
The Interior Garden
Another layer of interpretation is the interior garden we find ourselves planted in - the suffering or lack thereof that we experience. Many of us deal with chronic health issues or pain, while others grapple with inner demons of unhappiness, depression or low self-worth. A friend and I were remarking this week that as we grow older, we seem to weather the times of suffering better. We have more perspective that this period will "come to pass". We have a better understanding that we are not our bodies, or our thoughts or our feelings. Rather, our true self is above and beyond those temporal things; our true self is refined by these experiences but is not these experiences. That is not to say that I don’t despair or feel blue at times, but that the feeling passes more quickly than it did when I was younger.
I recommend coaching yourself to bloom in the interior garden in which you are planted. Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, feelings or body. Remind yourself that your connection to Source is your true self. Acknowledge and honor your true self and pay more attention to it than the physical or interior garden. That is how to bloom where you are planted.
How do you bloom where you are planted?
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The Miracle of Resurrection - in the Garden
May 5, 2008 | 1 Comment
I love to garden and I love plants - how they smell, how
they look, how they grow. I love the miracle of a seed’s transformation into a seedling and finally into a mature plant. When traveling, I always notice gardens, the smell of new plants, the pollen, the leaves - you get the picture.
There are so many spiritual lessons found in the garden. One of them is the miracle of resurrection - of life returning after supposed death. And all deaths are supposed, if we believe that death is the soul’s transition into a new form of life. Resurrection is a symbol for the new life and new beginnings we experience in our lives.
I’ve witnessed multiple resurrections in my garden this spring. I conducted a mental funeral for two of my beloved black foot daisies last fall - but they staged a spring reprise and are blooming with innocent abandon. Such a miracle! I thought sure that the scabiosas in the front were gonners this winter, but they’ve come back with mounds of blossoms this spring. A miracle! Even the white swan echinacea that I just knew had kicked the bucket have returned and are about to bloom. Miracles are all around me!
But the most amazing miracle of all happened yesterday afternoon. I found it around by the back door where I have a secret garden - a garden that doesn’t get much sunlight except for the harshest rays of a late summer afternoon, where nothin’ much grows. I had planted Confederate Jasmine there three or four years ago in a futile attempt to reproduce the smells of a California garden in Texas. What was I smokin’? To think that I could grow even a well-adapted version of the jasmine that perfumes just about every garden in California - well, only a crazed, cowboy-boot-wearin’ Texas gardener would think she could transplant California to Texas. I swear that Confederate Jasmine plant hasn’t produced even one green leaf in at least two years, but I found it yesterday not only growing up the trellis and onto the roof, but bedecked with small, lightly fragrant white blooms like Christmas lights on a garland of greenery. I wanted to throw a party then and there!
The lesson to me is obvious. When we think that the worst has happened, when it seems that death has surely triumphed over life, when the light at the end of the tunnel appears to recede rather than come nearer, God’s abundance and the miracle of new life whack us on the side of the head, fairly screaming, "Wake up and smell the jasmine!" Notice the new life, the small resurrections, that miraculously appear in your life. Are they new opportunities where you thought none would ever appear? An unexpected solution to a vexing problem? A phone call from a friend you’d lost contact with? New business opportunities that just drop in your lap? Appreciate them. Welcome them. Give thanks for the miracle of resurrection.
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Living as an Everyday Mystic: Weekly Sabbath
May 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The first guideline in living as an Everyday Mystic was to have a daily spiritual practice, which you can read about here. The second guideline is to have a weekly sabbath time to recharge your batteries. There are several ways that you can structure your weekly spiritual time, including the following:
1. Communal Worship - Many people find that a church, synagogue or other religious service is helpful in living a spiritual life. In communal worship, we not only find connection with Source but with other people who may be companions on the Way. For some, worship may be a walk in the woods with their dog. For others, it might be a prayer or discussion group.
2. Work sabbath - In this 24/7, always-plugged-in world, it is hard to conceive of a day without work. For some, this may mean disconnecting the Blackberry or cell phone, not logging into email or closing the laptop for a day. I try to be email-free for at least one day during the weekend. Some enlightened companies are realizing the need for an email sabbath and have declared Fridays no-email days. Can you imagine that people might actually have to talk to each other on Fridays?
4. TV sabbath - You might consider turning off the TV for one day each week. Think of the other things that could get done! When my children were young, we did a variation of this idea - we turned off the TV from Monday morning until Friday after school. Then the kids could watch as much TV as they wanted for the weekend. Now that the kids are older, I miss the peace that the no-TV rule created in our home. Even if you don’t turn off the TV completely, ban violent shows and news for one day. And, to ensure peaceful dreams, think of skipping the nightly news right before bedtime.
5. Reading sabbath - Several spiritual disciplines, such as the Artist Way and the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, ask adherents to take a sabbath from reading any non-essential material for a period of time. This serves to clear the mind and one’s life of distracting inputs.
6. Mindfulness Day - Thich Nhat Hanh recommends taking a day every week to be completely mindful of everything you do. This is way harder than it sounds! Being completely mindful of everything you do means that you are not making to-do lists in your head while showering, not thinking of the next meeting when you’re in THIS meeting. You know what the weirdest part of doing a mindfulness day at home for me is? It’s using the toilet without reading something - being completely aware of what your body is doing instead of using the bathroom as the "reading room". OK, there you have it - true confessions of the all-too-human Everyday Mystic!
What is your weekly sabbath practice? The Everyday Mystic encourages you to find something that works for you. By feeding and nourishing your interior life, you keep the exterior life much freer, more peaceful and more productive.




