Reckoning and Anticipating on Black Friday

November 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Thanksgiving, which we celebrated in the US yesterday, is a celebration of God’s abundance - a time to give thanks for the harvest and for the many blessings in our lives. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, called in the popular press "Black Friday" because of the multitude of people who will descend on stores in hopes of finding a good bargain. For me, today is a day of reckoning and of anticipation. I am reckoning with the tightness of my jeans this morning, with all the leftover food in our refrigerator and the memory of spending all day in the kitchen yesterday. The words of my husband, who exclaimed last night as he was cleaning up after our extravagant feast, "This seems wasteful - why do we do this every year?" echo through my mind.

I didn’t have the words to answer my husband last night, but now I do: I reckon that for me to spend one day a year in the kitchen creating food for my family and friends is a creative and worthy endeavor. For me, preparing an extravagant Thanksgiving feast is a labor of love. It is a way to honor the memory of my mother, who was commander-in-chief of my birth family’s holiday feasts and celebrations. It is a way of celebrating God’s abundance, blessings and the love that I am so fortunate to share with my amazing family. This is why we do this every year. To do any less would seem, well, less abundantly thankful.

I am not against making Thanksgiving simpler, and I may be moved to do so in the future. For now, this is what feels right.

Today is also a day of anticipation of the coming holiday season. Many of you have already been out in the stores, snatching up a bargain and working on that Christmas life of gifts. For many, however, this Christmas will be a lean one, due to lay-offs, slow-downs and reduced revenues caused by an economy that seems to careen from one disaster to the next. Instead of focusing only on gift lists, Christmas cards and the business of the season, take some time today to anticipate how you will find meaning this holiday season. In addition to preparing a budget for your holiday gift spending, make a budget for participating in fulfilling holiday experiences, many of which cost no or little money.

What will bring you the most satisfaction during this holy time of Advent, Christmas, Hanukkah and the Solstice? How will you honor the birth of the Christ child and the return of the Light within you this season?

Will you re-commit to your personal prayer or meditation practice and be more faithful to it?
Will you attend a retreat or special religious service that connects you with the real meaning of the season?
Will you participate in a service project, either at your place of worship or in the community?
Will you contribute money to the causes and charities that mean the most to you?
Will you find some time in every day to listen for the still, small voice of God in your life?
Will you attend a concert, ballet, play or Christmas pageant that brings joy to your heart?
Will you bake a family recipe and deliver it to a friend?

Take some time today to reckon and anticipate. Take a reckoning of where you are right now, in all aspects of your life. Then, anticipate how you will celebrate the true meaning of the holiday season.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Abundance, The Journey, blog

The Importance of Beauty

November 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Beauty feeds the soul. It is important to recognize this and incorporate beauty into your everyday life. Beauty can be visual, auditory or tactile. It can be found in nature, in your home, in your leisure activities and at work. Because our inner life is reflected in our outer life and vice versa, the environment that we attract and create around us is a mirror of the beauty inside of us.

I was reminded of the need for beauty at a symphony concert last night. Classical music is a testimony to the highest emotions and spiritual yearnings of a human being. So much of classical music is religiously inspired or is the composer’s attempt to express his/her life’s meaning in the midst of its joys and sorrows. Listening to classical music, especially instrumental music, is the equivalent of reading a book vs. seeing a movie of the same book. The music invokes your imagination and emotions just like a book does, but it does not proscribe the visual images that you create with it. That is up to you.

Visual art also reflects the artist’s attempt to express his/her highest self amidst human frailty. I need to view art on a regular basis to feed my soul. In fact, I need some in my home. Nature is another form of beauty that is vital to the nourishment of our souls. Many people crave the sensory beauty of nature because in nature comes their most poignant connection to Source.

We need to incorporate beauty in everyday life. To some, that may mean preparing a beautiful meal every night. To others, it may mean wearing beautiful, stylish clothes. Or it may mean savoring a good glass of wine or beer. Or creating a beautiful home and garden, or bringing in a flower arrangement into the home or office every week. To some women, it may mean getting her fingernails done every other week. Thank goodness there is an endless variety of how humans can seek beauty. This diversity of tastes and preferences results in the rich and varied world around us.

Everything that we experience in this human body is spiritual, so our quest for beauty to feed our souls is a spiritual pursuit. Contrary to what you may have learned as a child, our whole body experience is God-given and everything about it is designed to provide joy and pleasure, and also challenges and learning opportunities.

Where does our search for beauty become ego-based and not spiritual? There is a fuzzy line between yearning for beauty to feed our soul and yearning for more and more things because of a need for prestige or social standing. When does the need for beauty turn the corner into a want for more?

Each person must examine their own values and motives in seeking beauty. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting a beautiful house, car, clothing and other accoutrements of the abundant life. If your motive, deep inside, is to acquire more for show or prestige, then that is a want or a grasping. However, if your deepest motive is to seek beauty in order to live large and abundantly or to seek pleasure in love, then it is a pure desire. A puritanical approach to abundance, in which you eschew pleasure or worldly possessions to be a good person in God’s eyes, serves no one, including God. Again, God wants you to experience beauty, pleasure and abundance, because those are integral parts of the human experience - the human experience that God and your soul co-created for you.

And, because no life is without suffering, the experience of beauty provides a contrast to the experience of pain. In the midst of pain, the most comforting moment can be the recognition of beauty and pleasure - a reminder that life is never all bad.

Posted by admin | Filed Under The Journey, beauty, blog

Practicing Gratitude

November 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment

It may seem like an odd time to be discussing practicing gratitude. The economy is a mess. Thousands of employees have been or are facing the possibility of being laid-off, outsourced or cut-back. Because of the uncertainty, many families anticipate drastically reduced spending on holiday extras such as presents and vacation travel.

Now, more than ever, is the best time to practice gratitude.

Why should you be grateful when it seems like things are at their worst? According to recent research[1], the practice of gratitude and appreciation can make you happier – and who doesn’t want to be happier, especially now? There are several reasons that gratitude makes you cheerier. Gratitude directs your thoughts to the positive aspects of living, so instead of concentrating on the dismal reports you read everyday in the newspaper or hear on the news, you concentrate on good news. A daily practice of gratitude, such as keeping a gratitude journal or “counting your blessings”, helps you live more consciously because it forces you to pay attention to what happens in everyday life. Gratitude and appreciation helps you stay in the present moment, because to notice blessings you have to block out worries about the future and regrets from the past. And, although this is not scientifically proven, counting your blessings seems to increase the good things that happen to you, if only because you are more attentive to them.

Lastly, if you want to keep your job, finding a way to be happy is a good idea. In a Harvard Business Review article from June 2005, authors Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo found that managers tend to favor competent and likable people over more competent but less lovable workers. Happier people are generally more likable and more enjoyable to work with than the opposite. In deciding who to lay-off and who to keep, it may be the workers who keep a positive outlook that managers view more favorably.

Here are some ways to practice gratitude and appreciation in your life:

Keep a gratitude journal. Noticing and writing about the blessings in your life is a great way to keep your antenna tuned to the positive. You might discipline yourself to notice something new to give thanks for everyday – not just the same old things like your family, your home and your job. In my journal, I draw a star next to each entry on my list of appreciations. The stars draw attention to the things I’m grateful for.
Give thanks in prayer or meditation. Some people incorporate gratitude into a daily prayer or meditation practice. An elderly friend once told me, “You just get down on your knees every night – right there next to your bed - and give thanks for all your blessings.” I’ve always remembered her words.
Notice and remember Kodak moments. Remember the commercial about capturing “Kodak moments” by photographing them? Kodak moments are those memories that make you smile; they are moments of great happiness or fleeting appreciation. You might notice moments from your family life, you might notice the color of a tree’s leaves, a hawk slowly circling in the sky or a beautiful sunset. Observe the feelings you experience in that moment. Live with your eyes and heart wide open, looking for beauty and grace everyday. Take time to savor your Kodak moments as you notice them, and then write about them later in your gratitude journal.
Notice and remember synchronicities. Synchronicities are coincidences that are moments of grace. An example of a synchronicity is when you think about someone and then receive an email or phone call from that person. I experienced a synchronicity today – I just happened to be working on my computer early this morning (Sunday) when a reminder for an unusual morning meeting popped-up on my screen. I had totally forgotten about my commitment, and if I hadn’t been at my computer I would have missed the meeting. I wrote about it in my journal, giving thanks for being able to keep my commitment to the people I met with.
Appreciate others. Make a habit of noticing what other people are doing, and provide them sincere appreciation when they do something well or noteworthy. If you are a manager, you might write a note to one of your employees about something they did that you appreciate. Mail it to their home address so they can share your message with their family. Another way to appreciate others is to simply say thank you and acknowledge the good job that person is doing. My husband plays in a professional orchestra and went for years without hearing any feedback from the conductor. When the maestro finally told him that he had done a good job, my husband was ecstatic that someone had finally noticed his dedication and good results. A little appreciation makes both you and the person you notice feel great!

This Thanksgiving, give thanks for all the blessings in your life, and vow to start practicing an attitude of gratitude everyday. You’ll be glad you did!

[1] “Authentic Happiness”, Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. Dr. Seligman has conducted numerous studies on positive emotions and finds that gratitude is one practice that helps people increase happiness.

Posted by admin | Filed Under blog, gratitude

How to Choose Love over Fear

November 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment

In a previous post, I made some suggestions for acting in love during the current economic crisis. I’d like to expand the discussion and create a more comprehensive list of tips for shifting to love when you feel fear gaining hold in your mind, spirit or body.

First, the fear/love choice is like this famous optical illusion - if you look hard at the picture of your life, you see the young lady but if you soft focus your gaze you see another image, the old lady. The same can be said about fear and love. When faced with a difficult situation, our brain will glom onto the first perspective it can grasp (usually fear), but if we consciously look for another perspective, we can find it.

Here are some suggestions for choosing love:

The heavenly perspective. I’ve already blogged about it, and it is my personal favorite this month. Let me know how it works for you!
Take time to meditate and pray each day. My friend Mariel writes down a verse from scripture or from some other inspiring source and keeps that small piece of paper in her pocket all day to remind her of the divine love that continually surrounds her.
Practice gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal. Notice and appreciate all the little things to be grateful for in your life.
Notice synchronicities in your life. They happen all the time. For example, yesterday, I was racing out of the office for an appointment, and when I picked up my purse, a small voice immediately reminded me that my wallet was in another room. I snatched my wallet and ran out the door, thanking the angel that prevented me from forgetting a very important item.
Silently bless the people you encounter during the day. Pray for people you are about to meet with or work with. Notice how that practice affects the quality of your interaction with that person.

There are so many more ideas. I open it up to your comments and suggestions. How do you choose love instead of fear?

Posted by admin | Filed Under blog, gratitude, love

Put a Stop to Labeling

October 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

The human brain is wired to instantly categorize everything we perceive. This is a good thing in life threatening situations, as when you are about to step on a coiled rattlesnake on the ground and your brain calls out an immediate "Freeze!" warning to all muscles. Other times, however, that instant categorization mechanism that says "coiled snake-like object on ground equals danger!" can trip you up. What if the snake turns out to be a harmless garden hose? Your brain has sent a danger signal to your body for no reason. As you reach higher stages of emotional, moral and spiritual development, you need to check the brain’s instinctual tendency to label items or people as "good" or "bad", "safe" or "dangerous", "us" or "them". To create a spiritually intelligent workplace, we need to put a stop to labeling by using our higher spiritual powers.

This requires an evolution from duality thinking to "both/and" thinking. The instinctual part of the brain will continue to instantly categorize things but it is up to the executive function of the brain to translate those black and white judgments into inclusive, non-judgmental and holistic viewpoint. Once this translation is complete, the individual can now act in a considered, inclusive way. It looks like this:

Step three is critical. This is where the person’s vigilant "observer mind" catches itself doing its normal categorizing. The observer mind is that part of you that is divinely connected and represents your highest self. "Oops," says the observer mind, "Let’s not go there. What other perspective or viewpoint could I take that is more spiritually mature?" The brain reconsiders, assuming a broader, whole-cosmos perspective, and then chooses the best reaction to the stimulus. A good way to help your brain assume this whole-cosmos perspective is outlined in a previous post on the heavenly perspective.

This process goes slowly at first, as you engage the observer mind more actively. This requires spiritual will and perseverance to train your mind to catch itself as it jumps to conclusions that may not serve your highest truth. Persevere! Keep at it! There are precious rewards, such as increased love, compassion and inner peace, in making progress toward retraining your brain.

This is what the process looks like when you have made progress in re-training your brain to stop labeling:

The brain takes the high road, so to speak, and bounces lightly into the categorizing and labeling stages but quickly advances to the inclusive thinking.

You might even get so advanced as to skip steps two and three altogether. Bravo to you if you are here in your reactions:

Here are some labels that I’d like to adopt a more inclusive, whole-cosmos perspective of:

Christian	vs.	Muslim
Theist	vs.	Atheist
Republican	vs.	Democrat
Rich	vs.	Poor
Managers	vs.	Employees
Man	vs.	Woman
Straight	vs.	Gay
Good	vs.	Evil

I propose that, instead of labeling, we start thinking of all people as simply "children of God", "the Divine’s people" or "souls on a journey together". Easier said than done, huh?

Posted by admin | Filed Under Leadership, The Journey, blog

In Economically Unsettled Times, I Choose Love

October 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment

A Course in Miracles states that there are only two emotions, love and fear. All other emotions are derivatives of those basic feelings. Of the two, which emotion have we primarily seen at work in our economy over the past several months? Of course, the answer is fear.

When I worked in the securities industry years ago, we said that markets are driven by fear and greed. Greed is the operative that fuels run-ups in the markets as investors try to make a buck (or a euro, in this global economy). Fear causes sell-offs like the stunning one we’ve seen in the markets over the past month.

Recently, I’ve heard people speak fearfully about their diminished investment accounts and 401k’s. I’ve heard people express fear about the security of their jobs. I even heard one friend express concern about the balance in her child’s school PTA bank account, which was approaching the $100,000 limit of the FDIC insurance.

Fear is a normal reaction to what’s happening to us. Fear has its good side – it can make us more vigilant and more careful about our money, which is not a bad thing. But fear can paralyze us and cloud our thinking. I can’t tell you how many people have told me they are about to cash out all their holdings. I admit to thinking about it now and again – wouldn’t cash be safe! This is a normal, fear-based reaction, but is not a wise or prudent action. Selling now would be counter to the market’s basic rule of buy low, sell high. Selling now is selling low.

So, how can we choose love at this time?

First, we need to remember several spiritual laws. The first is “As within, so without”, which means what you think about, comes about. The Bible expresses this as “So a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” In other words, if you believe that this is a disaster, it will be so. The second is “Within chaos comes opportunity.” We know this to be true in our own spiritual development - a crisis such as a divorce, serious illness or death of a loved one causes short-term chaos but can initiate tremendous inner growth in the long term.

If you are fearful about being laid off at work or about business in general, here’s what you can do to replace fear with love:

You valiantly choose a positive outlook as you walk in the door, refraining from gossiping or speculating at the water cooler (or via IM) about who’s going to get the ax and how bad it is at the office.
You look for more ways to make your boss look good.
You immediately revive your professional network both within and external to the company, taking time to go to lunch with others, catching up with people who you haven’t seen in months and listening for opportunities.
You apply for jobs, perhaps even ones that are beneath your current abilities, but that could parlay into a better one in the future.
You check your internal thoughts several times a day to make sure that you are clear within so that you send “good vibes” out to others, knowing that the energy will be returned to you.
You look for the good in every situation, and express love in the form of appreciation, respect and integrity at work.

Choosing love also means to look for the opportunity in the downturn. Sandra Yancey, CEO of eWomenNetwork, says that recessions are great times to buy whatever you need, “because everything is on sale!” Warren Buffet said the same thing about stocks last week in an opinion piece in the New York Times entitled, “Buy American. I am.” Buffet related that in his personal investment account, he is buying up solid American stocks because he believes that they are cheap now and will appreciate in the long term. My colleague, Jean Keener, of Keener Financial Planning, has this sound advice: “Recessions have historically been fantastic buying opportunities. If you’ve got cash in hand that you won’t need for at least 5-10 years, this could be a rare opportunity to be brave and benefit financially in the long-term.”

In what other ways can you choose love by looking for the opportunity in the downturn? Think like a contrarian! Think about starting a business or going back to school. Look for side businesses that are recession-proof. At the grocery store last week, I stopped by a wine-tasting display where the woman behind the table proclaimed wine a recession-proof business. I guess we need to drink more now than in good times! How can you find a recession-proof business like wine?

As for me, I’m doing some major contrarian thinking. I’m starting a new business, based on spiritual intelligence, in a recession! Crazy! So here is my vision: In this tough time, I picture myself planting seeds that need watering, weeding and fertilizing before I can harvest the fruits of my labor. Most of the seeds will bear fruit when the economy revives, but I leave room in that vision for some seeds to germinate and mature overnight like Jack’s beanstalk in the fairy tale.

Even if you know that keeping a positive frame of mind is good for you, it’s easy to fall into fear during these uncertain times. Click here for a quick visualization exercise that you can do to gain perspective and loosen fear’s grip.

For your own happiness, choose love. For the betterment of your career, choose love. Because life is short, choose love.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Work, blog, gratitude

Spiritually Mature Stress Management

September 27, 2008 | 1 Comment

Do you ever have a day when you look at your calendar and you want to either

a) cry (guys may not want to admit this, but it’s true for me) OR

b) run away to a remote desert island where they serve unlimited mai tais

because you have back-to-back meetings all day AND a pressing project to finish? This is called stress - too much to do in too little time. Times like this call us to our highest selves, because this is when the rubber hits the road on the spiritual journey.

It’s important to have a list of coping mechanisms in your back pocket, so to speak, in preparation for days like this. Since I had one of those days yesterday, I have compiled this list of things to do the next time it happens. I hope that by writing it down and sharing it with you, both of us can feel better about the next time we face this dilemma.

Here is a list of spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day:

Cancel or skip one meeting! Surely there is something in your day that you can give up. Delegate, dismiss or defer the meeting that isn’t both urgent and important. This alone can reduce your stress. Think of it as setting an example for others as a good way to put boundaries on your time.
Take a moment to go outside. Walk slowly and mindfully, inhaling and exhaling with the rhythm of your step. This can ground you immediately.
Ring a chime or bell if you can do so without disturbing others. Take that moment to simply listen to the beauty of the sound.
Stretch. Anyone can stretch right in their chair. Raise your arms above you and reach for the ceiling. Lean your head down over your knees and let your arms relax to the floor.
Take a moment to meditate or pray. Go to the restroom if you need a moment of privacy. Meditate on your breath or pray a short prayer. This is a means to the end of “praying without ceasing.”
Keep a scripture verse or inspirational saying on a small piece of paper. Put it in your pocket or tack it on your bulletin board. Read it as if you are reading it with your heart. Get lost in its meaning for just a moment. Let its peace invade your being.
Write or say an affirmation such as, “All my work gets done with ease,” or “I finish my tasks with serenity,” or “God guides my hands and feet as I do my job.”

What are your spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day? I’d like to hear from you!

Posted by admin | Filed Under Stress Management, blog

Take Pride in Your Job

September 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment

It was late Friday night at O’Hare airport in Chicago. The plane was a little delayed and all the passengers were tired, crabby and eager to go home, including me. As we entered the aircraft, we were greeted by the first class flight attendant, who had a personality that filled the aircraft! “Welcome aboard, and how are you doing tonight?” he would ask each person as they boarded. I took my seat in first class, delighted that I could observe this flight attendant take command of his aircraft, greet each passenger personally and welcome them onto his flight. When a young mother with a crying toddler came on, he greeted the young girl with, “Honey, it’s your lucky day – you get to fly on my airplane tonight!” As we pulled away from the gate, he continued his banter during the safety briefing announcements, making jokes and wisecracks, and encouraging the other flight attendants to do the same. I was surprised, amused and impressed with this unusual behavior.

I have noticed that since 9/11, flight attendants and other customer-facing employees at this and other major carriers are demoralized, de-motivated and tired. They have faced salary cuts, longer working hours and higher stress, due to the established possibility of terrorism in the skies. They feel stuck in their jobs, victims of a seniority system that makes it impossible to take a new job with another carrier. All of this made the performance of the flight attendant that Friday night unusual and noteworthy.

What was remarkable was how much pride, energy and ownership he put into his job. I come across people from all levels in the org chart who are in similar employment situations to this flight attendant. Because of the economy and the current job shortage, many people today feel stuck and unappreciated in their jobs. In fact, according to Talent Smart, only 15% of all workers, including managers and executives, feel respected and appreciated in their jobs.[1] Rather than complain about a less-than-perfect job situation, it is the responsibility of each worker, from the CEO down to the lowest-paid employee, to take pride in their job and do it to the best of their abilities.

How can you take pride in your job? Here are a few suggestions:

Decide to give it 110%: What your mother told you is true: if a job is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Do it to the best of your ability. Own your job output and put your good name on it. You don’t have to love your boss, have the perfect co-workers or the best working conditions to take pride in your work and go the extra mile to ensure high quality results. Notice, however, that we are talking 110%, not 200% percent. I meet many over-achieving executives who have exhausted themselves trying to be all things to all people in a difficult environment. Pace yourself, set priorities, identify the areas that you can exert the most influence and delegate or defer the rest.
Exert control over what you can: You may not have control over all aspects of your job, but you can identify areas that you do control and focus on them. The flight attendant had control over the airplanes he flew, and he focused on how he could influence the atmosphere of that environment. You may not be able to influence the performance targets the Vice President sets, for example, but if you are a manager or director, you do have control over how you communicate them to your workgroup. Concentrate on supporting your group so they can do the best work possible. Then try to let go of the need to control what you cannot.
Make it fun: We spend too much time at work not to have a little fun at it! The flight attendant customized his safety announcements, using his own talents, to make it fun. Although not everyone is a comedian, we each have a unique approach to humor and having fun. How can you give your co-workers a smile and make their day? How can you lighten up your workplace?
Speak and act positively toward co-workers: If you change your attitude and behavior, often other people will change, too. Sometimes people get locked into a negative relationship with a co-worker or manager because of personality differences, miscommunications, annoying personal habits or past affronts. If you find your self in this position and the other person is basically an OK person - not a bully and not acting illegally or unethically - try this experiment for two weeks and see if it makes a difference: Speak and act only positively to that person. Compliment the person when it is warranted. Notice the good things they do. Support them in their job. Do not speak disparagingly about that person to anyone, including your spouse or partner. If you are able to do this for just two weeks, it is highly likely that you will notice that the other person responds in kind, and that you have repaired the situation. The result: a happier, less stressed YOU.
Practice extreme self-care: If you are in a high-stress job, take good care of yourself. Self-care is highly individual and dependent on life stage, financial resources and time constraints. Seek ways to manage your stress and balance your energies in ways that make sense for your situation. Simple self-care can include taking time to walk outside at lunchtime, talking to a good friend and having an active social life. Self-care might also include massages, regular exercise, and, ironically, community service. Community service can broaden your perspective by getting you out of your normal environment and can fulfill the human need to serve others.

If successful in applying some of these guidelines, an amazing thing may happen: You may find that by changing YOUR attitude toward work, the work atmosphere changes. Take a lesson from the flight attendant, and you may find that the job you thought was less than perfect is actually pretty darn good!

[1] Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book”

Posted by admin | Filed Under Work, blog

Resilience and the Power of the Human Spirit

August 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Alice Lee knows something about being resilient. She has had to be resilient to survive this far. You see, Alice has spinocerebellar ataxia type 3, an inherited neuro-muscular condition similar to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). The disease is fatal, slowly reducing the person’s mobility and finally shutting down the body. But Alice decided early on in life - or was she just born feisty? - that she would not let adversity take her down forever. She decided to be a survivor, not a victim. “I get down sometimes,” Alice told me, “but I get right back up.” She means that both figuratively and literally.

Alice tested positive for ataxia in 1995, which killed both her mother and sister and perhaps several other family members, but it wasn’t until 2002 that she started to develop symptoms of the disease. Around that time that she brought a service dog into her life as a constant companion - Morgan, a beautiful golden retriever, who is in the picture, above, with Alice. Morgan knows over 90 voice commands, including “Get the phone, Morgan.” Alice says that dogs have a tendency to slobber on the phones they fetch, so she buys cheap ones and doesn’t care when Morgan ruins one! It was Morgan who saved Alice’s life in 2003, when she fell while alone in her home and broke her leg - and sprained her ankle. Morgan came to her side at once, and she told him, “Morgan, get the phone.” He brought her the phone, to which she had taped a list of the neighbors’ phone numbers. She was able to call her neighbor to ask for help.

After Morgan came to her aid, Alice was confined to a wheelchair. She remembers her mother was in a wheelchair for the last ten years of her life, and Alice wanted not to have that kind of life. She was determined to recover from the accident. “I’m not ready for this,” she declared to herself, referring to the end of her life. Instead of her fall being the beginning of the end, Alice sought out physical therapy and worked hard to regain her ability to walk. She was ambulatory when I met her at Upaya Zen Center in July of this year, five years after the fall. Her smile and spirit were strong and radiant. However, Alice must practice mindfulness all day, every day, because of her illness. “I have to be aware of where my feet are at all times,” says Alice. “I have to practice mindfulness or I’ll fall.”

I asked Alice about two things: pain and death. When I asked her about what it was like to know that she would die, she said, “We all die. I just have a little more information than most people about how my end will come. I’m not afraid of death, it is a part of the cycle of life. Society makes it scary. I feel that I’ve lived 3 lifetimes. If I die, I die, but I want to be here for my daughters and be a grandmother.”

Regarding pain, Alice said, “You just go through it. You let it come to you, then go through it. It’s your resistance that tries to keep it at bay. I breathe through the pain. When I was working, I had horrible back spasms. I couldn’t make my 30-minute commute without stopping to stretch several times. I would get out of my car, stretch and breathe.” Alice is grateful for the muscle relaxers and pain medication that keeps the pain at bay, and recommends that others who suffer from pain seek medical help in that way also.

Alice is facing another test of her resilience: Her faithful service dog, Morgan, who has served her so faithfully for more than five years, has developed arthritis and needs to retire from his service dog duties. Alice needs a new dog that will be trained by Assistance Dogs of the West (a non-profit organization) for the hefty price of $3500.00. Alice has $1750 already, but needs help raising the other half. Her dog dancing group, The Santa Fe Dog Dancing Club, is holding a fundraiser for her tomorrow, Friday, August 29, 2008, at which they hope to raise the rest of the purchase price (another $1750.00) for another service dog for Alice.

Alice’s story and her spirit have touched me deeply. Alice is resilient, but she needs our help. Please join me in contributing to the cost of a new service dog to join brave Morgan in caring for Alice. You can make a tax deductible donation at www.assistancedogsofthewest.org (at the bottom of the page, click on “make a donation”. In the comment field, please type “for the Alice Lee Fund”). Any amount that you can give from your heart is most welcome! Let’s help Alice stay resilient!

Blessings to all.

Posted by admin | Filed Under The Journey, blog

Seven Characteristics of an Authentic Leader

August 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Being an authentic leader is a cornerstone of building a spiritually intelligent workplace. To be authentic is to be real, to be genuine. If we consider that the opposite of authentic is phony or fake, then most people would vote for authenticity. It’s like a counterfeit coin, which doesn’t buy us anything once it is discovered, whereas an authentic coin is highly valuable. Personal authenticity breeds trust, commitment and loyalty in a work group. Teams that practice authenticity are stronger, more productive and experience less interpersonal friction than those that are – well, inauthentic.

Teams that empower each person to lead in their own way tend to be authentic, too. I am a firm believer that any person, not just the designated manager, can lead from where they sit in the organizational chart. I’ve seen teams accomplish great things as they rally around a peer who leads and has great influence because of their personal authenticity.

So, what characterizes authentic leaders? They have the following seven qualities:

Awareness and development of personal strengths: The authentic leader has a high degree of self-awareness and understands her strengths. She has developed her innate talents into strengths by practicing them and building a body of knowledge in that area. She may have discovered her strengths through honest self-assessment or been aided by participating in a course of study such as Brio Leadership’s In-Powering People and Teams training. She knows that she is brilliant when she works in her strengths, and is dull and unhappy when she is not.
Awareness and acknowledgement of personal weaknesses: Along with understanding strengths comes self-awareness of one’s weaknesses. The authentic leader recognizes his weaknesses, as indicated by those tasks that he neither enjoys nor excels at. For example, some people do not perform well when asked to do detailed, repetitive work such as bookkeeping. The authentic leader acknowledges his weaknesses and finds ways to mitigate them, often by delegating those tasks to others.
Values-based decision-making: The leader knows her own values and makes decisions based on them. The leader’s values allow her to make forward-thinking decisions that keep the team or organization true to its mission. Says Richard Barrett, author of Liberating the Corporate Soul, “Values are the anchors we use to make decisions so we can weather a storm. They keep us aligned with our authentic self.”[1] An authentic leader will also make sure that her values are aligned with those of the organization she works for.
Integrity: Integrity is doing what you say you will do, being trustworthy and keeping confidences. You can count on authentic leaders to be good for their word. Integrity is the foundation for building high-performance teams. Teams that work in a trustworthy environment will produce much better results than those that are characterized by suspicion and a lack of trust.
Empathy and respect for others: Authenticity means not only being true to yourself, but respecting others and being empathetic to their individual circumstances. An authentic person knows that all team members are not alike, and that our differences, when respected and acknowledged, can make the team stronger. Authenticity is the ability to listen empathetically and with an open heart to the stories, backgrounds and needs of others.
Courage: This is the ability to stand up for what you think is right, to make unpopular decisions, and to speak up respectfully when you disagree with what others are saying, even if it is your manager. I once had a manager who complained that all her direct reports “only blow me sunshine,” meaning that they told her only the good news. She was requesting more courage on the part of her direct reports.
Emotional management: Lest we think that being authentic means to inappropriately express all emotions as they are felt, we must address the need for emotional management. The authentic leader will not hide his true feelings, but will have enough self-control to respond rather than react to emotional triggers. He will know better than to lash out at others when angry, but will be able to express anger in a way that is productive, and with timing that will ensure maximum impact. A leader that expresses anger often and inappropriately will only be feared, not respected – and we know for a fact that human beings do not produce their best work when fearful. The leader who acknowledges his feelings in a way that respects the other person will engender loyalty in his team.

Are you an authentic leader? To find out, ask yourself if you display these seven characteristics. If you fail in one or more of these qualities, think of how you might develop it in yourself. Your team and your organization will profit from your efforts to become more authentic.

[1] http://www.valuescentre.com/docs/ValuesBasedLeadership.pdf

Posted by admin | Filed Under Leadership, Work, blog

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