How to Be Mindful in the Present Moment

July 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment

If you had to answer honestly, could you truly say that you are present in the moment most of the time? I think that most of us (I include myself, but I’m working on it!) are neither mindful nor fully present for the majority of our waking moments. Mindfulness is an important part of many spiritual practices, most notably Buddhism. And for good reason - mindfulness keeps us from worrying about the future or fretting about the past. By definition, the present moment is the point at which we live, so why not be fully aware and engaged in it! It is in the present moment that we are most alive and in connection with the Ground of our Being.

Being fully present in the moment is a decision that we can make any day. It is perhaps best to start being present during less stressful times, so we can develop our mindfulness muscle, so to speak. Then, that muscle will be strong enough to carry us through the rougher times. I suggest that you practice mindfulness at home and on the way to work to get used to being in the moment. Of course, you can and should practice mindfulness at any time - I’m just saying it’s easier to start when you are doing something with less emotional charge than a tense situation at work.

Being mindful is simple and yet difficult. It is focusing your mind on exactly what you are doing in that moment. The Buddhists say, “Chop wood, carry water.” So when you chop wood (or brush your teeth, drive a car, load the dishwasher, etc.) you do only that - you don’t also mentally plan for tomorrow’s presentation at the board meeting. What we are trying to do is train our brain to focus and be aware of what you are doing in the moment, which increases your calmness, equanimity and focus.

Independence Day in the US was two days ago, and I prepared a rather large feast for my family and some friends who came to dinner for the holiday. I heartily enjoy entertaining but have less fondness for cooking, so I confine my culinary endeavors to major holidays and parties that we throw. This time, I made the decision early in the morning that July 4th would be a mindfulness day for me. As I chopped vegetables, I was fully present to the rhythmic sound of my knife cutting the carrots, to the sight of the onion slices lined up like soldiers on my cutting board, to the smell of the vegetables releasing their aroma as I cut them. And then, I noticed my hands, scooping up the sliced vegetables and putting them in the bowl. Suddenly fascinated with how hands work, I admired and appreciated them as they did their amazing job, prehensile thumb and all. My mind would wander to worrying about this or that, then I would notice and gently bring my awareness back to what I was doing. I found that by the end of the day, I was feeling happy and fulfilled, not tired and resentful as I usually feel after spending the day in the kitchen.

I think that you, too, will discover the benefits of mindfulness. You will be less tired, happier and more energetic for the next moment that comes. So, how can you build mindfulness moments into your day?

Posted by admin | Filed Under Mindfulness, blog

How to Stay Sane during an Insane Day

July 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Have you ever attended an all-day meeting or had back-to-back meetings from morning to night? Ever wonder how you can keep a sense of balance or a connection to the All-That-Is during a day in which there is no time for contemplation or even much of a break? The business world demands much of us, with schedules that tax the mind and soul at times A psychologist friend once remarked to me, “I’m amazed at how little time executives and managers have for thinking and deliberation.” We get used to thinking on our feet, making quick decisions while running from meeting to meeting.

So what can an Brio Leadership do to reconnect with Source energy during a busy, stressful day? There are several easy, quick methods that can help you feel centered, energized and focused. Try these:

Breathe. When we get stressed, we have a tendency to breathe shallowly and from our chest only. No one will notice if you consciously remember to take a deep, belly breath during a meeting. The deep breath will prevent tension from accumulating in your body, clear your mind and enhance your concentration.
Breathe through your heartspace. Imagine opening your heart and breathing through that part of your body. Your heart has neurons (brain cells) in it, just like your brain, and when you focus on your heart, you invoke the heart’s intelligence and intuition. Your decision-making abilities will be enhanced. You can do this exercise as you listen to someone speaking - it can be something you do in the background of your focus. Thank goodness for our minds, that can process information at a rate 4 times faster than a human can talk!
Optimize your restroom breaks. Ah, a moment alone in the restroom stall! Take advantage of your private time and breathe consciously and fully. Observe your breath through 5 inhalations and exhalations. Be in the moment, be in your body. You will return to the meeting refreshed.
Wash your hands mindfully. Also in the restroom, ceremonially wash your hands. Wash off any negative energy, emotions or judgments you may have accumulated. Watch them swirl away down the drain, leaving your hands and your psyche clean and fresh, ready to return to your activities with a clear mind and an open heart. While drying your hands, appreciate your hands and all they do - type, write, shake other people’s hands, make gestures.
Conduct a body scan for emotions. To make sure you are aware of your emotions, and therefore can manage them effectively, periodically scan your body for emotions. Start at the top of your head and move down your entire body, looking for areas of tension, heat, tingles or stress. You can do this in a blink of an eye - during a lull in the conversation, for example. If you find an problem area, consciously relax it and try to determine what emotion it represents. Typically, nervousness or fear show up in your solar plexus or stomach, anger appears in your upper back and shoulders, tension and anxiety manifest in your head, and sadness and grief appear in your throat and neck area. Awareness of your feelings allows you to manage them. If you feel angry or threatened, you might breathe into your heartspace (see above) and be prepared to choose your behavior, rather than react without consideration.
Mentally bless the food before you eat. Even during the most insane day, most of us catch a moment to eat something. During all-day meetings, lunch is often catered in. Before taking a bite, lower your eyes for just a moment and give silent thanks for the meal you are about to eat. Silently recite your favorite meal-time grace. This will embed a moment of reverence in your day and ground you for the next segment.

It is possible to keep your sense of balance during an insane day. Other than the desire to stay centered, it only takes a moment here and there to reconnect to the deep calm that is always within you.

Do you have favorite ways to stay in-the-moment during a busy day? Please post a comment here and share them with us. Blessings to you on your journey.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Mindfulness, Newest Posts, Stress Management, blog

Releasing Judgmental Thoughts

June 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Can you think of a colleague, co-worker or acquaintance who really annoys you, but is probably a pretty agreeable person underneath their irritating qualities? Stated another way, are there people who make you bristle because of a certain aspect of their personality, but if you consider them with an open heart, you could find quite a few redeeming qualities? I can say yes to both of these questions, so I assume that you can, too.

Psychologists tell us that the qualities in others that most irritate us are the qualities that we fear in ourselves. If it weren’t so, then the other person’s behavior wouldn’t bother us and we wouldn’t even notice it. For example, I mentally label loud and talkative people as rude or braggadocio. But, if I am really honest with myself, I have a tendency - or perhaps it is an internal wish - to be loud, talkative and braggy. However, if I weren’t somehow conflicted over that tendency, it probably wouldn’t annoy me so much when I encounter loud and talkative people.

What happens when we unmindfully hold onto judgmental thoughts about others? Those feelings can grow from a mere irritation to a huge iceberg of resentment, jeopardizing your working relationship with that person and sometimes poisoning the team’s spirit if the person is a co-worker. Because negative emotions create stress in our minds and bodies, holding onto a judgment or a resentment hurts us - it is a self-inflicted wound. To recognize and release a judgment allows us to lighten our load of destructive emotions. We do it for ourselves.

There are some steps we can take to stop our judgments of other people:

Make an inventory of past triggers.The first thing we can do is take a mental inventory of the people and their qualities who have angered, annoyed or irritated us in the past. This prepares us with a list of traits that has triggered our reactions in the past and helps us recognize them as we experience them in the future.
Notice when you label or judge someone. We need to train ourselves to become aware of our judgments, which fortunately becomes easier with practice. Mentally scanning the body for emotions occasionally during the day can help us identify a judgmental feeling, which usually lodges in our solar plexus or lower in the abdomen. As soon as possible, notice when you judge or label something or someone - before the judgment turns into a resentment.
Stop. Interrupt your run-away thoughts, emotions and judgments. Breathe, imagining that you are breathing through your heart space. Five breaths will open your heart space and neutralize your cascading judgmental thoughts.
Gain perspective. View the person or event from a neutral or different point of view. You might attempt to perceive the situation from the viewpoint of an unconditionally loving mother, saying to yourself, “Surely this person’s mother loves her.” Or you might perceive the situation from the perspective of a disinterested third party. What might a person who has no emotional investment in the situation observe or think? Lastly, consider the situation from the soul perspective, opening your heart and your spirit to the essential goodness in the other person and the ultimate perfection of the situation. This is where miracles happen.
Thank the person at a soul level. There are no coincidences. This person or situation has appeared in your life for a reason, perhaps as an opportunity to learn a life lesson. The other person’s soul agreed to engage in this encounter for your benefit, or for the benefit of both souls. On some unseen level, there is perfection in the situation. Gratitude is an appropriate response. Thank the other person. Or you can use a phrase common in the southern region of the US, and mentally say with deepest sincerity, “Bless your heart.”

Recently, I noticed myself judging someone in a business meeting. Fortunately, I caught myself before I got too deep in my judgmental interpretation of the behavior that I found irritating. Taking a deep breath, I found myself thinking of how her mother must love her. I found that amusing but helpful. Then, in my spirit, I miraculously caught a glimpse of her soul. That sudden shift in perspective surprised me and I smiled to myself. All of this happened in a split second, so rest assured that I didn’t zone out of the meeting for more than a couple of words! Only later did I remember to thank her soul, but when I did, I immediately felt a shift in energy between us.

I am grateful for the opportunity to develop my awareness and learn from my experiences. As always, my hope is that, by sharing my journey, your journey will be enhanced.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Work, blog

30 Seconds is All it Takes

May 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Oprah Winfrey created a blockbuster with her live web class with Eckhart Tolle, author of the book A New Earth. Over a million people have watched some portion of the ten-week series that highlighted the main concepts of his book. The staggering popularity of Oprah’s event demonstrates that humans all over the world are becoming aware of the need to awaken to their own spirituality. In his book, Tolle calls this awakening an imperative, given the earth’s ecological peril and the escalation of the human race’s technological ability to destroy life.

In an interview in the May, 2008 O Magazine, Eckart Tolle answered a question about how to become a non-judgmental space - in other words, how do we incorporate a sense of spirituality in everyday life. In response, he talked about bringing space, or awareness, into your everyday life. He said, “Bring those spaces into your everyday life, as many as possible….Even the busiest person has time for 30 seconds of space.” (page 299)

We’ve talked about incorporating spiritual practices into everyday life in this blog before - after all, that’s what Brio Leadership does. Let’s examine again some ways to observe 30 seconds of space in your life:

1. Breathe. Choose a reminder to consciously take a deep breath at intervals during your day. I use the sound of the ringing telephone to take a quick but conscious breath. You might set your clock to discretely chime on the hour, reminding you to breathe. You might breathe every time you get up from your chair, get in your car, or step out on the street. I make a habit of observing my breath when I am waiting in line. Hey, it makes the wait go much more quickly!

2. Observe. Be aware of your surroundings and notice what is different. I notice the changing of the seasons, the emergence of new leaves in the spring and the shedding of them in the fall. Notice colors, sounds and people around you. One December in the past, I was working in a tall office building. While making small talk before a meeting started, people remarked about the spectacular Christmas decorations that had just been mounted in all the entrances to the building. My colleague looked up and said, “My goodness, I didn’t even notice them. I guess I should take time to smell the roses!” How right she was in her figurative allusion to being observant. We miss so much of life’s rich pageant when we sleep-walk through life. Be observant.

3. Appreciate. Give thanks for the blessings in your life, both small and large. I recently looked up while waiting in the car and appreciated the color of the red car that was in front of a dark green tree - I gave thanks for the stark contrast of the red against the green. Appreciation can be that small. Appreciation can also be transformational. A friend was on a business trip to Japan on Mother’s Day, feeling sorry for herself because she was separated from her children. She took out a pen and wrote down all the things she was grateful for in her life. She says her pity party stopped right away. “I realized I had nothing to be sad about,” she wisely remarked.

4. Smile. Along with appreciating the small blessings in life, appreciate the human beings around you with a smile. It costs you nothing to smile at another sojourner on this spacecraft called Earth, and it can mean so much. Look someone in the eye and smile - yes, even a stranger might smile back at you. See if you can be aware of invisible people - such as the receptionist at work, the waiter and busboy at the restaurant, the checker at the grocery store - and make it a personal challenge to “make their day” with a sincere smile and a short greeting. Sharing a smile is a spiritual practice that bridges our illusionary separateness and acknowledges the oneness of us all.

Why should we take 30 seconds to bring space into our daily lives? Because it reduces stress, reminds us of our connection to Source, and brings us back to the present moment. This is enough for me.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Mindfulness, The Journey

Living as an Everyday Mystic: Weekly Sabbath

May 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment

The first guideline in living as an Everyday Mystic was to have a daily spiritual practice, which you can read about here. The second guideline is to have a weekly sabbath time to recharge your batteries. There are several ways that you can structure your weekly spiritual time, including the following:

1. Communal Worship - Many people find that a church, synagogue or other religious service is helpful in living a spiritual life. In communal worship, we not only find connection with Source but with other people who may be companions on the Way. For some, worship may be a walk in the woods with their dog. For others, it might be a prayer or discussion group.

2. Work sabbath - In this 24/7, always-plugged-in world, it is hard to conceive of a day without work. For some, this may mean disconnecting the Blackberry or cell phone, not logging into email or closing the laptop for a day. I try to be email-free for at least one day during the weekend. Some enlightened companies are realizing the need for an email sabbath and have declared Fridays no-email days. Can you imagine that people might actually have to talk to each other on Fridays?

4. TV sabbath - You might consider turning off the TV for one day each week. Think of the other things that could get done! When my children were young, we did a variation of this idea - we turned off the TV from Monday morning until Friday after school. Then the kids could watch as much TV as they wanted for the weekend. Now that the kids are older, I miss the peace that the no-TV rule created in our home. Even if you don’t turn off the TV completely, ban violent shows and news for one day. And, to ensure peaceful dreams, think of skipping the nightly news right before bedtime.

5. Reading sabbath - Several spiritual disciplines, such as the Artist Way and the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, ask adherents to take a sabbath from reading any non-essential material for a period of time. This serves to clear the mind and one’s life of distracting inputs.

6. Mindfulness Day - Thich Nhat Hanh recommends taking a day every week to be completely mindful of everything you do. This is way harder than it sounds! Being completely mindful of everything you do means that you are not making to-do lists in your head while showering, not thinking of the next meeting when you’re in THIS meeting. You know what the weirdest part of doing a mindfulness day at home for me is? It’s using the toilet without reading something - being completely aware of what your body is doing instead of using the bathroom as the "reading room". OK, there you have it - true confessions of the all-too-human Everyday Mystic!

What is your weekly sabbath practice? The Everyday Mystic encourages you to find something that works for you. By feeding and nourishing your interior life, you keep the exterior life much freer, more peaceful and more productive.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Mindfulness, Newest Posts, The Journey

Living as an Everyday Mystic: Daily Spiritual Practice

May 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

In my last post, we discussed some guidelines for living a spiritually integrated life. The first guideline is to engage in a daily spiritual practice that suits you. There are many ways to live spiritually everyday, and I’ll share some of my thoughts on what that can look like.

My daily spiritual practice to write in my journal in the morning and to meditate before I go to bed at night. I try to do this everyday, but I’ll admit there are are some days, like when I’m sick or traveling or just depressed, that one of the two practices is missed. However, even if I’m in a blue funk, I’ll substitute getting on my knees at the side of my bed and saying a simple prayer for my meditation, or I’ll read a passage from a spiritual book instead of journaling. My daily practices are my commitment to self-care and the evolution of my soul. Without them, I am not very happy.

Here are some ways to engage in a daily spiritual practice:

Meditation: Experts say that as little as 5-10 minutes of mindfulness meditation, such as observing your breath, repeating a mantra or phrase, or observing an object, is enough to create positive benefits. Meditation has been cited as a way to reduce stress, calm emotions and improve concentration. It is also a way to get below the ego’s realm to your true or divine self. This is one way to commune with the Divine.

Prayer: Some say that prayer is a way to talk to God; meditation is how you can listen to God. Although I find meditation the best way to connect with Source, prayer can be a way to say what is on your mind, ask for blessings for yourself and others, and set intentions. You can pray and also listen for the still, small voice of God. Praying prepares you to hear it. To pray with the feeling of already having your prayer answered is a good approach to prayer.

Journaling: I write to unload the day’s events and feelings, to set intentions for the coming day, to tease out the truth in my jumbled thoughts and to state my affirmations. I also write as I listen to my true self (the Divine spark within). I’ll also journal to capture any wisdom heard during meditation.

Contemplative Reading: Normally, we read or skim a newspaper article quickly to glean the important information. To read contemplatively is to read slowly, savoring the words, ruminating about the deeper meaning of a phrase and living with a passage for long periods of time. This type of reading is typically done with sacred texts such as the Bible, the Torah or Koran, but you can apply the technique to poetry or any other reading that is sacred to you, including a daily meditation guide such as Guideposts or the Science of Mind magazine.

Yoga, walking, running: Yoga is a contemplative exercise that focuses the participant on the breath and the body. It calms the mind and spirit. Walking and running or other forms of exercise can be a sacred activity, too. Runners and other athletes talk about the spiritual high they get after pushing their bodies past what they thought possible. I find walking, when done mindfully, is a spiritual activity that connects me with nature, my body and the present moment.

Being in nature: Being in nature, whether it is walking or sitting, can make you aware of the connectedness of all things. Its beauty can invoke gratitude and awe. I see God’s hand in nature, inspiring an appreciation in me for the abundance and love that surrounds us always. Others just simply appreciate its wonders. My mother used to sit every night on our back porch, which was really an elevated deck constructed in the trees of our backyard. She would watch the stars, listen to the crickets, the night sounds or just the quiet and commune with God. That was her daily meditation.

Mindfulness: Mindfulness is simply being aware of what you are doing and giving it your entire focus. A sacred practice is to give your children or your spouse your full attention for some part of the day. Walking with an awareness of your feet touching the ground with every step is being mindful. Joyfully focusing on your work to the point of losing track of time (getting in the flow) is mindfulness. Part of my spiritual practice is writing this blog - when I write, I am totally focused and lost in the joy of just writing. Washing the dishes with full concentration on only the dishes is sacred work. I have a friend who enjoys washing her floor - she gets totally engrossed in the act and takes pride in its cleanliness when the job is done.

What are your daily spiritual practices? Whatever they are, it is important that you take time to do one of them every day, for even just 5 minutes! The benefits are many, least of all is the aspect of self-care. Remember the advice the flight attendants give us on the airplane - put on your oxygen mask first before helping others with their mask. We must nourish our souls with a daily spiritual practice before seeking to serve others.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Meditation, Mindfulness, Newest Posts, The Journey

Mindfulness Moments: Finding Time for the Sacred in Everyday Life

April 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Our hectic lifestyle often leaves little time for contemplation. I know when I was working a full-time executive job and raising two young kids, days could go by between opportunities for me to meditate, pray or have time by myself. There are seasons in a life when schedules are full of obligations. Still, there are ways to sneak in mindfulness moments during busy days. The benefit of incorporating sacred moments into a full schedule is the sense of calm and peace you will receive despite the demands on your time.

Here are ten quick and easy ways to find time for mindfulness moments everyday:

1. During the commute, turn off your radio, MP3 player and/or cell phone and instead do one or more of the following: Pray. Sing. Feel the steering wheel in your hands. Smile. Think of five things you are grateful for.

2. When you get to work, take a few moments in your car to do a brief breathing meditation, observing and counting your breaths from one to ten. Or, on your walk to your office, walk slowly and coordinate your breathing with your steps. For example, you might inhale for 2 steps and exhale for 3 steps. Set a positive intention for the day.

3. Do the same when you arrive home at night - sit for a moment in the car and do a quick breathing meditation or prayer. Set a positive intention for the evening’s activities.

4. When the phone rings, take a moment to silently bless the caller. Then take a deep breath and answer the phone.

5. Take a mindful bathroom break. Pay attention to the breath while using the toilet. Breathe deeply and attentively. Perform a hand-washing ritual in which you consciously wash off the energy of the past moments and clean your hands in preparation for the coming meetings or tasks. Set a positive intention for the next segment of your day.

6. A friend of mine sets her computer to ring mindfulness chimes on the quarter hour. It reminds her to stop and breath for just moment. You could do the same with a chime on your watch, set to sound on the hour.

7. Say a silent prayer of thanksgiving before eating lunch.

8. Take a moment periodically throughout the day to close your eyes, breathe and visualize being in your "happy place". For me, it’s the beach in Santa Barbara, California. Use all five senses to imagine that you are there. This is a great stress reliever, and it only takes a moment to go there in your mind.

9. Before going to sleep, pray. I had a friend who said, "Kristin, I kneel down beside my bed each night and thank the Lord for five things that happened that day. And I pray for those who need God’s love." Set a positive intention for your dreams that night.

10. Upon waking, take several deep breaths. Say a prayer of gratitude for the new day. Set a positive intention for the coming day.

So, even if you don’t have time for a formal daily meditation or prayer practice, you can still squeeze sacred moments into a crazy day. You’ll be glad you did!

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Meditation, Mindfulness, Newest Posts

Everything is Holy

February 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Last weekend, I had heard Peter Mayer’s song called “Holy Now” (you can read the lyrics by searching on “holy now” at http://www.petermayer.net/music/). In the song, he relates that when he was a boy, he went to church to experience the holy or to hear about long-ago miracles. Today, his view of the holy includes everyday life – the lyrics tell us that “Everything is holy now” and “Everything’s a miracle.”

I was driving to Houston yesterday to speak to a technical services industry group there. It’s a long drive from where I live, so I had a good opportunity to be with myself. I got to thinking about Peter Mayer’s song. I contemplated how one could live in a way that allows one to see that everything is holy and everything is a miracle. It’s a mind-set of living in a state of constant grace, I decided. Hmm, there’s a weird concept - grace. Grace to me is feeling like you are being cuddled in the arms of the Divine – pure safety, pure love, feeling like the universe sends you the gift of pure acceptance of whoever you are. Living in a state of grace allows me to feel that everything is holy now.

“So how do you live in a state of grace?” I asked myself. There are two spiritual skills that help me live in an “everything is holy now” mindset. The first is gratitude and the second is perspective.

Living in a State of Grace: Gratitude

Gratitude, in the form of appreciating the little things in life, is vital to living in the moment. Gratitude helps you love what you’ve got right now, not what you’d rather have. I found gratitude yesterday in my car to Houston – gratitude for the sun, gratitude for the opportunity to speak to a wonderful group of people, gratitude to be living this life of mine. Today, I walk around my home taking mental pictures of scenes I’m grateful for – oh, there’s the sweet dog lying on the stairs, the morning sun dances on the tile floor, the cup of aromatic tea makes me smile.

Appreciating those around you is another aspect of gratitude. In my family, we constantly tell each other “I love you”. My teenage daughter was sick last night, and I took advantage of the opportunity to appreciate her. If you know anything about teenagers, you know that the only time they are really glad to be “loved on” by their momma is when they are sick. I sat at her bedside, stroking her hair. I told her how much I loved her, how proud of her I was for the person she’s becoming and the choices she’s made. I told her I’d sit there until her body twitched, which is the sure sign that she’s asleep. Then I quietly crept away, knowing she was getting the rest she needed.

Perspective

The second skill is perspective, which I use for want of a better word. Perspective helps you step out of the emotional grit of the moment and attempt to see a broader view. Several ways to gain perspective are helpful to me. One is to search for the lesson in the situation, as in, “What opportunity for growth or better understanding does this provide me?” Many times, the lesson for me is to learn to apply a broader perspective more quickly! Another way to gain perspective is to look for the good, especially the future good, in the situation. My son was recently sick and the doctor prescribed a drug that could help him. My first reaction was, “Why does my son have to suffer?” My second reaction, the one that sought the good in the situation, was, “This is perfect. Now he has a drug he can use when he encounters this again. He is empowered to help himself.” I had to choose this perspective, but I’m really glad I did. Another way to gain perspective is to realize that you are not the only one who has ever experienced the situation. Applying this to my son’s situation sounds like this: “A lot of people take this drug and find it helps them lead productive, empowered lives.”

Gratitude and perspective help us live our lives as if “everything is holy now”. My goal is to live that way every day.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Mindfulness, Newest Posts, Redemption

Breathing to Relax

February 2, 2008 | 1 Comment

I am fascinated by the intersection of emotions and spirituality. I don’t pretend to have all the answers right now, but I know that the ability to control run-away emotions – both positive and negative ones - is vital to keeping us grounded, spiritually centered and in the present moment. Managing - not suppressing - emotions is the goal of Brio Leadership.

You have probably heard about the fight or flight syndrome which is our automatic response, mediated by our emotional brain, that allows us to react quickly to dangerous situations. I often tell the story of my sister-in-law who jumped in our swimming pool to save her energetic two-year-old daughter who had just fallen in. Lisa’s brain did not debate the merits of saving her daughter over ruining her own clothes or hairdo – she just jumped in immediately and pulled my niece to the surface so quickly that they both came up laughing. That is a perfect example of the spirit of my wonderful sister-in-law, but also of the positive aspect of our fight or flight syndrome.

The fight or flight syndrome doesn’t serve us as well in most other, modern-day situations, such as those with co-workers, bosses, family members and just the stress of living. Generally, we don’t have the option of fleeing the scene of a tense encounter with our boss, or of fighting her. Neither choice is recommended in civilized society.

Plus, many of the stressors we encounter are generated by our knee-jerk reaction to certain situations. For example, most of us get stressed if we get a call or email from our boss that simply says, “Please see me now.” We jump to the worst conclusion and assume that we are getting fired. Our emotional brain perceives a possible threat and mobilizes the body for its age-old reaction – fight or flight. Our physical symptoms might include increases in our heart rate, respiration rate and blood pressure, butterflies in our stomach, or weak knees. Anticipating the worst, we walk into our boss’ office and are surprised and relieved that she only wanted our opinion on a report.

In those stressful situations, it should be our goal to stop the cascade of emotional hormones before it even starts. This means being able to identify your personal stressful trigger AS IT HAPPENS and catch yourself before your body has a chance to react. One of the best ways I know how to stop the fight or flight response is a simple breathing exercise. This came to me from several sources – several whispers from the Universe, so I know that it is true for me – including my yoga teacher, a Harvard Business Review article on stress relief and a fax from a friend.

The breathing exercise is easy: Your inhalation is half the duration of the exhalation. In other words, you breathe in quickly and fill your lungs completely and exhale slowly. On the first breath, count to 3 on the inhale, then 6 on the exhale. On the next breath, elongate it to 4 counts on the inhale and 8 counts on the exhale, then count to 5 and 10.

I recommend this technique from my own experience. I often wake up in the middle of the night, panic and then cannot go back to sleep. If, immediately upon awakening, I breathe in to the count of 4 and breathe out for 8 counts, I can rollover and go right back to sleep. Another example of the power of this technique is a chief executive of an entertainment company who only lit a cigarette when he was stressed during the day. He smoked about four times daily, always in response to stressful triggers. After discovering this breathing technique, he successfully substituted it for his cigarette habit and discovered that what calmed him was the opportunity to inhale and exhale fully and deeply. He was able to kick the nicotine habit and use the natural power of his breath to calm him.

What are your experiences with this wonderful breathing technique?

Meditation (from Thich Nhat Hanh):

I breathe in, I feel love.

I breathe out, I feel peace.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Meditation, Mindfulness, Newest Posts

Intention and Prayer

January 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Recently, I read the book called “The Intention Experiment” by Lynne McTaggert. It’s a fascinating, if dense, review of current research (a lot of which is controversial) into the nature of thought, healing, intention and prayer. Although McTaggert has a different view of prayer than I do (I’ll comment on that later), I agree with her statement that “We can no longer view our… thoughts as the private, self-contained workings of an individual brain. Dozens of scientists have produced thousands of papers… offering sound evidence that thoughts are capable of profoundly affecting all aspects of our lives.” (p.194)

What a profound statement – our thoughts, negative or positive, are not at all private because they create energy. She suggests that our thoughts are communicated through what quantum physicists call the Zero Point Field or the vacuum. The Zero Point Field is that which remains when a container is emptied of all matter and is brought to a temperature of absolute zero, an extremely frigid temperature at which no energy should be perceptible. Yet, there is a huge amount of minute oscillations that scientists are beginning to measure and study. The Zero Point Field appears to be an active communication medium even in situations in which no electromagnetic energy can penetrate – it is all pervasive and ever present. Kinda like God. Indeed, the Zero Point Field may be the communication medium of the spirit world (my words).

Where I disagree with McTaggert is in her definition of the difference between intention and prayer. She says, “With intention, the agent of change is human; with prayer it is God.” I believe that God is immanent, meaning God is the spark of divinity that resides within each of us; God is the essence of our best self, our highest or true self. Therefore, if we make intentions from our true self, intentions are of God and the line between prayer and intention cannot be drawn. I do concede that human intentions may not originate from our highest self; they may arise from the less-than-altruistic thoughts we may have. Those are not prayers, but curses – against ourselves and against others.

The challenge is to be aware of our thoughts as much as possible. It is a call to mindfulness, a call to vigilance in thinking thoughts that are worthy of being heard by everyone around you. After all, on an energetic level, your thoughts are shared and have impact on both you and others, whether you like it or not.

We’ll talk in later posts about how to cancel negative thoughts and how to substitute positive ones.

Prayer:

Pervasive and Immanent One, help us to be aware of our thoughts moment by moment, everyday. Amen.

Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Mindfulness, Newest Posts, Prayers

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