Brio Leadership

How to Stay Sane during an Insane Day

July 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Have you ever attended an all-day meeting or had back-to-back meetings from morning to night? Ever wonder how you can keep a sense of balance or a connection to the All-That-Is during a day in which there is no time for contemplation or even much of a break? The business world demands much of us, with schedules that tax the mind and soul at times  A psychologist friend once remarked to me, “I’m amazed at how little time executives and managers have for thinking and deliberation.” We get used to thinking on our feet, making quick decisions while running from meeting to meeting.

So what can an Brio Leadership do to reconnect with Source energy during a busy, stressful day?  There are several easy, quick methods that can help you feel centered, energized and focused.  Try these:

  1. Breathe.  When we get stressed, we have a tendency to breathe shallowly and from our chest only. No one will notice if you consciously remember to take a deep, belly breath during a meeting. The deep breath will prevent tension from accumulating in your body, clear your mind and enhance your concentration.
  2. Breathe through your heartspace. Imagine opening your heart and breathing through that part of your body. Your heart has neurons (brain cells) in it, just like your brain, and when you focus on your heart, you invoke the heart’s intelligence and intuition. Your decision-making abilities will be enhanced. You can do this exercise as you listen to someone speaking - it can be something you do in the background of your focus.  Thank goodness for our minds, that can process information at a rate 4 times faster than a human can talk!
  3. Optimize your restroom breaks. Ah, a moment alone in the restroom stall! Take advantage of your private time and breathe consciously and fully. Observe your breath through 5 inhalations and exhalations. Be in the moment, be in your body. You will return to the meeting refreshed.
  4. Wash your hands mindfully. Also in the restroom, ceremonially wash your hands. Wash off any negative energy, emotions or judgments you may have accumulated. Watch them swirl away down the drain, leaving your hands and your psyche clean and fresh, ready to return to your activities with a clear mind and an open heart. While drying your hands, appreciate your hands and all they do - type, write, shake other people’s hands, make gestures.
  5. Conduct a body scan for emotions. To make sure you are aware of your emotions, and therefore can manage them effectively, periodically scan your body for emotions. Start at the top of your head and move down your entire body, looking for areas of tension, heat, tingles or stress. You can do this in a blink of an eye - during a lull in the conversation, for example. If you find an problem area, consciously relax it and try to determine what emotion it represents. Typically, nervousness or fear show up in your solar plexus or stomach, anger appears in your upper back and shoulders, tension and anxiety manifest in your head, and sadness and grief appear in your throat and neck area. Awareness of your feelings allows you to manage them. If you feel angry or threatened, you might breathe into your heartspace (see above) and be prepared to choose your behavior, rather than react without consideration.
  6. Mentally bless the food before you eat. Even during the most insane day, most of us catch a moment to eat something. During all-day meetings, lunch is often catered in. Before taking a bite, lower your eyes for just a moment and give silent thanks for the meal you are about to eat. Silently recite your favorite meal-time grace. This will embed a moment of reverence in your day and ground you for the next segment.

It is possible to keep your sense of balance during an insane day. Other than the desire to stay centered, it only takes a moment here and there to reconnect to the deep calm that is always within you.

Do you have favorite ways to stay in-the-moment during a busy day? Please post a comment here and share them with us. Blessings to you on your journey.


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Posted by admin | Filed Under Mindfulness, Newest Posts, Stress Management, blog 

Simple Everyday Miracles that We Give Each Other

June 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Most of the time, we go through life totally oblivious to  how our words and deeds can positively affect - indeed, change the course of - another person’s life. It could be a simple observation we say to someone, it could be a random act of kindness (as simple as a smile), or it could be the role model we become for others that can make all the difference.  Several instances have come to my notice this week that remind me of the way we are connected to and bless each other.  And most of the time, we have no idea that we have given a miracle to another person!

Last week, I received an email from a friend who thanked me for helping her get through a tough episode during a recent road trip. I replied to her email saying I didn’t know what I did to help her. She explained that the example I set of praying before meetings at our church gave her a tool and the inner strength to get through that difficult time. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea that I had any influence over her or any other person.

Similarly, I recently received a text message from a friend who thanked me for being an angel for her.  I texted her back to ask if she sent the message to the wrong person!  No, she assured me, I was the intended recipient.  She was thanking me for being there for her during some rough times.

Here’s another example: Several months ago, an executive at a large company hired me to consult with her department.  She assigned a much younger woman to be one of my main contacts for the project.  I took the younger woman to lunch after our project was done, and she told me what an outstanding role model the executive had been to her, teaching her that a woman could be both business-like and caring in a high-level job. With the young woman’s permission, I mentioned her words to the executive, who, like me in the previous stories, was flabbergasted that she had that much influence over another person.

And, the story continues.  That executive (who gave me permission to write about this) recently received a LinkIn.com invitation from another younger woman who thanked her for being a great role model to her.  And get this - this young woman never worked for the executive, but her husband did!

I can think of times when friends and acquaintances have done something for me or said something simple that profoundly affected me and influenced my life’s journey, if only just a tiny bit. Even tiny mid-course corrections can change the ultimate destination of a journey. If you are driving north from Austin, veering left at a critical junction instead of bearing straight can mean the difference between arriving in Dallas or Fort Worth! So that means that I am here, right now, writing to you in this blog because of all the tiny miracles I have so abundantly received, that each changed my life’s course if only a little. It gives me shivers to think about it.

I ask you to do two simple things:

  • Be aware of the simple, everyday miracles that bless your life.  Did someone smile at you at the grocery store?  Did someone hold open a door for you?  Did a co-worker bring you coffee? If you can, make that person’s day by thanking them.
  • Take advantage of opportunities to create a simple, everyday miracle in someone else’s life.  Smile, laugh, love and perform acts of random kindness.  You may never know how you affect another person, but do it anyway. It will make you feel good, even in the middle of a busy, stressful day.


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Posted by admin | Filed Under Newest Posts, The Journey, Work, blog 

Spiritual Practice Breaks are OK

June 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Lapses in our spiritual practice cannot be cause for beating ourselves up. If we wish to practice forgiveness in our lives, it has to start on the inside by allowing ourselves to take sabbaticals every now and then from even our most cherished practices. An attitude of acceptance is the best approach - “it is what it is” is a good affirmation. Self-acceptance is spiritual maturity.

I speak from my heart today, as I realized this morning as I was journaling that it has been many days since I have written and meditated. I hadn’t journaled since Tuesday - and today is Sunday, so you can count the days yourself. I am sorry for my lapse because I promised to you several months ago in this blog that I was committing to a daily practice. But I am proud to look back over the week and appreciate what I’ve done instead. I’m really grateful for this break in my routine, because it has produced such richness. I give myself permission to take a short break from my mediation and journaling practice. And, I am glad to come back to it now.

The week has been one of discovery and learning for me. I attended a three-day train-the-trainer class to learn about CoreClarity’s approach to training people to recognize and play to their strengths, rather than fixing their weaknesses. This positive approach to team-building and individual productivity was transformational for me, and I know it will be transformational for the organizations that I hope to bring it to. The training was exciting but it was also exhausting because of the deep inner work that we did. Plus, it was an hour or more commute each way to the class for me.

But, an amazing result came out of those long commutes - I created a dream for where I wanted to be in five years. I was inspired by my business coach who invited me to her birthday party last week. I couldn’t attend because I was out-of-town on business. What she invited her friends to was not a “come as you are” party, but a “come as you will be… in 2013″ party. Come as you will be in five years - now that’s a fascinating challenge! As I battled rush hour traffic this week, I turned off the radio and mentally envisioned where I would like to be, what I would like to be doing, and what my life is going to look like in five years. I have captured my dream in my journal, and I hope to make a story-board (a visual depiction) of my dream also. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I look back now and am happy that the space in my practice allowed me to do this inner work.

We must give ourselves permission to take breaks from our spiritual practices. We can just notice them, just as we notice our thoughts come and go during meditation. The trick is in getting back into the practices. In meditation, we notice the thoughts and let them go - and then direct our minds back to the breath. We must direct our lives back to our practice in the same non-judgmental way.

That is what self-forgiveness is all about.


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Forgiveness, Loving Yourself, Meditation, Newest Posts, blog 

Prayers for All Occasions

May 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Last Sunday at the Adult Sunday School that I teach at my church, we talked about the different types of prayer. In a group brainstorming session, we listed the different ways we pray.  Far from a theoretical, academic or exhaustive compendium, this is an experiential compilation of how prayer works in the lives of a group of amazing souls.  I share it here:

Supplication - This is prayer in which you ask Source for some outcome, as in "Source, please heal my illness." Sometimes the best way to pray in supplication is to add, "I ask for this or whatever serves my highest good."  This recognizes that our narrow viewpoint may not include the goodness or lessons that Source might offer, which are far more perfect than anything we could conceive of. 

Intercessory - This is prayer is for the well-being of others, as in "I ask for your blessings for my daughter and son."

Bargaining - A form of supplication, you bargain when you promise God or Source something in return for the blessing sought. Hey, we all do this from time to time, but we recognize that Source’s love is abundant and Source probably just chuckles (metaphorically) when we bargain-pray.

Surrender - The best example of this is Jesus’ prayer on the cross when he said, "Not my will, but Thy will be done."  Surrender happens when we hand over to Source or God our worries, our grasping for a desired outcome and recognize the abundance of God’s blessings.

Ritual Prayers (Lord’s Prayer, the rosary) - These prayers are pre-scripted and can carry great emotional significance.

Seeking connection - In this type, we ask for connection with Source energy.

Meditation/contemplative/silence - Although our group disagreed over whether meditation is a form of prayer, I list it here. A participant reminded us of the saying, "Prayer is talking to God while meditation is listening to God." For me, meditation is getting in touch with the Divinity within our souls. It’s our attempt to silence the ego’s talk in order to reveal our God Self’s voice. It’s a way to acknowledge our connection with Source in silence.

Affirmative prayer (saying affirmations) - One participant cited Louise Hays’ affirmations, found in her book, "You Can Heal Your Life", as a prayer that she has memorized and uses as a prayer.  Affirmations are a way of acknowledging your connection with Source and your strengths and talents.

Breath prayer - A breath prayer is a combination of two or four brief phrases that you mentally repeat on the in-breath and the out-breath.  This could be called a long mantra, and is a beautiful way to incorporate repetitive prayers with observation of the breath.

Feel the oneness - Sitting in the knowledge of your connectedness with Source and all that is.

Praise and gratitude - "God is great" is an example of praise, as well as the Hebrew blessing, "Baruch attah adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam" (Blessed are you, King of the Universe).  We express the wonder and the mystery of Source in our prayers of praise. Or, we express our deep gratitude to Source for the blessings we receive.

Song, music - Music can transport us to a state that incorporates both our emotions and our spirit.

Nature - Many people, myself included, sense awe, mystery and oneness while in nature. I love to sit in my backyard and just observe - I listen to the birds’ songs and the music of the wind in the tress, I appreciate the vivid colors of my garden, I smell the jasmine vine (see my post about resurrection in the garden), I feel the wind on my face.

Circular prayer -  This is a group experience of prayer in which each person sequentially adds her spoken prayer to the collective.  Once each person in the circle has spoken their prayer, a collective "amen" is said by the leader or the group.

Visualization - This is a variation of the affirmative prayer, in which we visualize a desired outcome, or visualize a process that leads us to a spiritual awakening. For example, I visualize heavenly light pouring into the top of my head in order to initiative a connection with the spirit world.

Walking - Conscious walking, or walking meditation, is a way of focusing your attention on your breath and your body.


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Newest Posts, Prayers 

Is Your Work Calling You?

May 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment

If your work is calling you, answer the phone! Although the word is not often used in business settings, a "calling" is a deep inner assuredness that the work you do - or will do - is your right livelihood.  A calling is the work you MUST do because you enjoy it, because it uses your strengths, because it serves a need in the world and because the timing is right. If your work is calling you, you are the most fortunate of human beings.

I have been thinking about work that calls people this week. I was catching up with a professional colleague (a help desk manager) who was describing her plans to go back to school to get a theological degree so she could work in hospice situations. I sensed her passion and told her that she was being called to do this work.  My friend was delighted that I recognized the deep knowing and the magnetic pull she felt to do something completely new.  I told her that she was doing the right thing, even though she would be giving up a handsome salary to do what she loved.

How do you know if you are being called to some line of work?  I see four elements that must align to direct you to work that is a calling:

Talent -

You must demonstrate an innate talent or strength for the work you are considering. How can you play to your strengths? You must consider the demands of the work that you are considering and ruthlessly evaluate your talent in that area.  For example, if the job demands that you show strong organizational leadership and you observe that your talents lie in an individual contributor role - well, that’s an obvious mismatch. There is no calling in that work for you. 

Serve a Need -

Is there a sufficient need or a demand for the level of talent that you have in your desired field? Unfortunately in a capitalistic market, demand for your talent is a necessity.  My husband is a classical musician, and he knows that the current demand for orchestral musicians is low (there aren’t many openings in US orchestras that pay a living wage) and the supply is high.  Just before he won the audition for a full-time orchestra position, he recognized that he might need to find another vocation.  He was prepared to go back to school to study accounting if he didn’t win a seat in the orchestra.

Passion -

What makes your heart sing?  What activities allow you to sink into a blissful state of flow, in which you lose track of time because you are completely absorbed in what you are doing?  What would you do even if you didn’t need the money? The answer to these questions direct you to your passion.

Timing -

Many years ago, a colleague refused a job offer I made her, explaining that "Timing is everything, and the timing is just not right for me to take this job." Timing has to be right for you to find your calling.  It’s not enough to have talent, serve a need and have passion, I’m sorry to say.  For example, if you are 40 years old, you cannot decide to become a concert pianist - even if you have the innate musical talent, you will never be able to develop the technical facility that a concert pianist needs.  Your brain discarded the possibility of creating the neural pathways needed for performing piano concertos when you were very young, and there is no way to make up for it.   I started to play the viola at age 16, and it was already too late for me to develop the technique I needed on that instrument to become a successful professional musician.  And believe me, I worked diligently for 9 years in trying. The same can be said for learning new languages or learning an athletic game (like golf) - as an adult learner, you will not be able to attain mastery of that skill because your brain was not trained when it was young and malleable.

I believe that the universe will reward you when you align these four elements - you will know that you are on the right path because opportunities will start to appear, helpful people will come into your life at just the right time and affirming events will happen.  Patience helps when you are making a big change, but the lack of this affirmation could be a warning sign.

What work is calling you?


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Newest Posts, The Journey, Work 

Every Soul is an Island, Interconnected to the Whole

May 17, 2008 | 6 Comments

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

(John Donne, Meditation XVII). 

This famous quote from 17th author and poet John Donne is beloved by many. I agree entirely with Donne’s concept that we are each interconnected. However, I have been thinking about the island metaphor in a different way, which actually made me think of Donne’s quotation and ponder its relation to my thoughts.  Here is how I’ve re-stated the island metaphor: We are each like an island in the ocean, appearing to be separate and self-contained. The ego perceives us to be separate, “entire of itself”. Like this: 

without H2O

If you can’t see beneath the water, the islands appear to be separate.

But if you pulled the plug on the gigantic bathtub that is the ocean and drained the water out, you would see that each island is actually just a mountaintop, rising up from and connected by the ocean floor. Like this:

  with H20

Without the water, we see that the islands are connected via the ocean floor.

The ocean disguises the fact that we are interconnected, just as everyday life fools us into thinking we are separate and alone.

In a meditation this week, another image came to mind, and that is the inversion of this image.  OK, I know this image is based on an archaic notion that the spirit world (heaven) is above us, but I sometimes still cling to that image. Deal with it!  I sometimes appeal to the angels or spirit guides of someone I am praying for or concerned about in my meditation, and I always think of going up to the spirit world to connect with the angels, and then down again to that human being’s soul. And it came to me that in this instance, the island image is inverted. 

Whatever image works for you, the concept is the same: We are all connected.

Last Sunday, we discussed this concept at the Metaphysical Mystics Sunday School class at my church. Everyone there agreed that they have felt the connection at one point or another in their life. For some, it is in nature that we feel the interconnectedness of all life.  For others, such as me, I comprehend it in meditation or prayer. We had a lively discussion that I’d like to re-create on Brio Leadership. 

I invite you to comment on the idea of interconnectedness that I’ve proposed in this post. You might answer the following questions in your comments:

  • What is it that connects us? What do you call that - God, consciousness or the Zero Point Field?
  • How can we be more aware of our interconnectedness?
  • How does our awareness of interconnectedness affect our thoughts and actions?
  • Is God or Source the ocean floor for you, or is it the medium through which God communicates?


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Brio Leadership, Newest Posts 

Give Negative Energy the Brush-off!

May 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Have you ever been with a person whose negative attitude, perspective or energy seems to suck the very life out of your body?  Or, have you ever become aware of your own negative reaction to a person or situation and noticed how it seems to settle in your body? If you are aware enough to notice these situations, congratulate yourself because awareness is the first step in spiritual maturity.  What I’d like to share today is a technique to literally brush off negative energy and clear the way for your heart to embrace more loving thoughts and feelings.

When we are exposed to negative thoughts or emotions - whether they originate from others or ourselves - our heart space is most affected. It is our heart, more than our brain, that detects and radiates energy.  Researchers have shown that the heart’s energy radiates further from the body than the energy generated from the brain. The heart space is also an antenna for picking up energy that comes at us from others.  Therefore, we need to clear the heart space when we feel that we’ve been emotionally or energetically attacked or when we react negatively to outside stimulus.

The body is the best indicator of our emotions and reactions - the body will hold negative energy and feelings. If I sense a tightness in my stomach muscles, I know that I am either tense or feeling attacked. You may feel tension in your shoulders, your head or some other part of your body. Whenever you feel tension, it is a good practice to examine what is causing it and try to eliminate it. If it is negative energy or thoughts that you are holding (which it often is), give the following technique a try.

The Brush-off

It’s easy: With your hand held palm open, you simply brush your heart space with a downward and outward sweeping motion. Start by touching your heart, and then start the sweep. Do this several times and visualize feelings and vibrations being swept away from your body, your heart and your consciousness. You could hold the image of a broom sweeping out your heart as you do the motion. Flick your fingers a few times at the end of the sweep to clear the energy off your hands.

For extra credit, you can then do an aura self-sweep. Hold your hand about 6 inches above your heart space, palm open and facing your body. Slowly draw your hand up and down the front of your torso and head, hovering about 6 inches above your body. See if you can feel any differences in energy in any part of your torso.  If you do sense some difference, pause at that spot and perform the sweeping motion described above, but without touching your body. Flick your fingers and shake your hands out to completely disburse the vibrations.

When done, be sure to take several deep breaths to re-energize. Don’t forget to congratulate yourself for being aware and taking action to protect yourself!

You can do this exercise discretely at work or any other place.  At work, you can go to the restroom for maximum privacy, or simply turn your body toward a wall in your cubicle so you can discretely do the sweeping motion. I am writing this post in an airport, where I just performed the brush-off in the ladies’ room. Hmm, I feel so much better.

Do the brush-off and feel better!


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Loving Yourself, Mind/Body Connection, Newest Posts 

Gratitude

May 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Today is my birthday, and I have received numerous calls, emails, presents and cards from people who are dear to me.  Thank you, all, for your birthday greetings.  I feel blessed to have so many thinking about me and surrounding me with their love.  I love you all right back.

With an open heart and a year-older body,

Kristin


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Bloom Where You are Planted

May 9, 2008 | 2 Comments

We can’t always choose where we live, and we can’t control the exact circumstances of our lives, our health, our work or our family challenges.  We can, however, choose our reaction to them.  In gardening terms, we can choose to bloom where we are planted.  Or, we can choose to resist and mentally or verbally protest our circumstances, which results in our unhappiness and a failure to thrive.  Your reaction is your choice.

The Physical Garden

There are several layers of interpretation you can apply to ‘bloom where you are planted".  First is the physical "garden" you find yourself planted in, such as geographic region, job, family circumstances, or school. I thought of this aphorism as the Search Committee from my church was negotiating with our newly announced pastoral candidate, who will be moving to Texas from Massachusetts.  What a big change that will be for the pastor’s family, both geographically and culturally.  But in choosing to bloom where they are planted, they will find great happiness here or wherever they go. Each one of us can find moments of peace, joy, and happiness wherever we are.

Gratitude moments help you bloom in your physical garden.  I find myself reveling in the physical manifestations of springtime - the lush green of the trees, the flowers that resurrected in my garden, the number of green lizards that we find in our yard.  Yesterday, a green lizard greeted me on my garden gate - I bowed in honor of her as she sat boldly on the gate, but had to shoo her away before I passed through. Yes, gratitude enables you to bloom where you are planted. Gratitude grounds you in the beauty and joy of the moment.

The Interior Garden

Another layer of interpretation is the interior garden we find ourselves planted in - the suffering or lack thereof that we experience.  Many of us deal with chronic health issues or pain, while others grapple with inner demons of unhappiness, depression or low self-worth. A friend and I were remarking this week that as we grow older, we seem to weather the times of suffering better.  We have more perspective that this period will "come to pass".  We have a better understanding that we are not our bodies, or our thoughts or our feelings.  Rather, our true self is above and beyond those temporal things; our true self is refined by these experiences but is not these experiences.  That is not to say that I don’t despair or feel blue at times, but that the feeling passes more quickly than it did when I was younger. 

I recommend coaching yourself to bloom in the interior garden in which you are planted.  Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, feelings or body.  Remind yourself that your connection to Source is your true self. Acknowledge and honor your true self and pay more attention to it than the physical or interior garden. That is how to bloom where you are planted.

How do you bloom where you are planted?


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Newest Posts 

The Miracle of Resurrection - in the Garden

May 5, 2008 | 1 Comment

I love to garden and I love plants - how they smell, howTrachelo Spermum Jasminum they look, how they grow.  I love the miracle of a seed’s transformation into a seedling and finally into a mature plant.  When traveling, I always notice gardens, the smell of new plants, the pollen, the leaves - you get the picture.

There are so many spiritual lessons found in the garden.  One of them is the miracle of resurrection - of life returning after supposed death. And all deaths are supposed, if we believe that death is the soul’s transition into a new form of life. Resurrection is a symbol for the new life and new beginnings we experience in our lives.

I’ve witnessed multiple resurrections in my garden this spring. I conducted a mental funeral for two of my beloved black foot daisies last fall - but they staged a spring reprise and are blooming with innocent abandon.  Such a miracle! I thought sure that the scabiosas in the front were gonners this winter, but they’ve come back with mounds of blossoms this spring. A miracle! Even the white swan echinacea that I just knew had kicked the bucket have returned and are about to bloom.  Miracles are all around me!

But the most amazing miracle of all happened yesterday afternoon.  I found it around by the back door where I have a secret garden - a garden that doesn’t get much sunlight except for the harshest rays of a late summer afternoon, where nothin’ much grows.  I had planted Confederate Jasmine there three or four years ago in a futile attempt to reproduce the smells of a California garden in Texas.  What was I smokin’?  To think that I could grow even a well-adapted version of the jasmine that perfumes just about every garden in California - well, only a crazed, cowboy-boot-wearin’ Texas gardener would think she could transplant California to Texas.  I swear that Confederate Jasmine plant hasn’t produced even one green leaf in at least two years, but I found it yesterday not only growing up the trellis and onto the roof, but bedecked with small, lightly fragrant white blooms like Christmas lights on a garland of greenery. I wanted to throw a party then and there!

The lesson to me is obvious.  When we think that the worst has happened, when it seems that death has surely triumphed over life, when the light at the end of the tunnel appears to recede rather than come nearer, God’s abundance and the miracle of new life whack us on the side of the head, fairly screaming, "Wake up and smell the jasmine!" Notice the new life, the small resurrections, that miraculously appear in your life.  Are they new opportunities where you thought none would ever appear?  An unexpected solution to a vexing problem? A phone call from a friend you’d lost contact with?  New business opportunities that just drop in your lap?  Appreciate them.  Welcome them. Give thanks for the miracle of resurrection.


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Posted by krisrob02 | Filed Under Abundance, Newest Posts, Redemption 

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