Brio Leadership

Reckoning and Anticipating on Black Friday

November 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Thanksgiving, which we celebrated in the US yesterday, is a celebration of God’s abundance - a time to give thanks for the harvest and for the many blessings in our lives.  Today is the day after Thanksgiving, called in the popular press "Black Friday" because of the multitude of people who will descend on stores in hopes of finding a good bargain. For me, today is a day of reckoning and of anticipation. I am reckoning with the tightness of my jeans this morning, with all the leftover food in our refrigerator and the memory of spending all day in the kitchen yesterday. The words of my husband, who exclaimed last night as he was cleaning up after our extravagant feast, "This seems wasteful - why do we do this every year?" echo through my mind.

I didn’t have the words to answer my husband last night, but now I do: I reckon that for me to spend one day a year in the kitchen creating food for my family and friends is a creative and worthy endeavor.  For me, preparing an extravagant Thanksgiving feast is a labor of love.  It is a way to honor the memory of my mother, who was commander-in-chief of my birth family’s holiday feasts and celebrations.  It is a way of celebrating God’s abundance, blessings and the love that I am so fortunate to share with my amazing family. This is why we do this every year.  To do any less would seem, well, less abundantly thankful.

I am not against making Thanksgiving simpler, and I may be moved to do so in the future.  For now, this is what feels right.

Today is also a day of anticipation of the coming holiday season. Many of you have already been out in the stores, snatching up a bargain and working on that Christmas life of gifts.  For many, however, this Christmas will be a lean one, due to lay-offs, slow-downs and reduced revenues caused by an economy that seems to careen from one disaster to the next. Instead of focusing only on gift lists, Christmas cards and the business of the season, take some time today to anticipate how you will find meaning this holiday season. In addition to preparing a budget for your holiday gift spending, make a budget for participating in fulfilling holiday experiences, many of which cost no or little money.

What will bring you the most satisfaction during this holy time of Advent, Christmas, Hanukkah and the Solstice?  How will you honor the birth of the Christ child and the return of the Light within you this season?

  • Will you re-commit to your personal prayer or meditation practice and be more faithful to it?
  • Will you attend a retreat or special religious service that connects you with the real meaning of the season?
  • Will you participate in a service project, either at your place of worship or in the community?
  • Will you contribute money to the causes and charities that mean the most to you?
  • Will you find some time in every day to listen for the still, small voice of God in your life?
  • Will you attend a concert, ballet, play or Christmas pageant that brings joy to your heart?
  • Will you bake a family recipe and deliver it to a friend?

Take some time today to reckon and anticipate.  Take a reckoning of where you are right now, in all aspects of your life.  Then, anticipate how you will celebrate the true meaning of the holiday season.


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Posted by admin | Filed Under Abundance, The Journey, blog 

The Importance of Beauty

November 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Beauty feeds the soul.  It is important to recognize this and incorporate beauty into your everyday life.  Beauty can be visual, auditory or tactile.  It can be found in nature, in your home, in your leisure activities and at work.  Because our inner life is reflected in our outer life and vice versa, the environment that we attract and create around us is a mirror of the beauty inside of us.

I was reminded of the need for beauty at a symphony concert last night.  Classical music is a testimony to the highest emotions and spiritual yearnings of a human being. So much of classical music is religiously inspired or is the composer’s attempt to express his/her life’s meaning in the midst of its joys and sorrows. Listening to classical music, especially instrumental music, is the equivalent of reading a book vs. seeing a movie of the same book.  The music invokes your imagination and emotions just like a book does, but it does not proscribe the visual images that you create with it. That is up to you.

Visual art also reflects the artist’s attempt to express his/her highest self amidst human frailty.  I need to view art on a regular basis to feed my soul.  In fact, I need some in my home. Nature is another form of beauty that is vital to the nourishment of our souls.  Many people crave the sensory beauty of nature because in nature comes their most poignant connection to Source.

We need to incorporate beauty in everyday life.  To some, that may mean preparing a beautiful meal every night.  To others, it may mean wearing beautiful, stylish clothes.  Or it may mean savoring a good glass of wine or beer. Or creating a beautiful home and garden, or bringing in a flower arrangement into the home or office every week.  To some women, it may mean getting her fingernails done every other week. Thank goodness there is an endless variety of how humans can seek beauty.  This diversity of tastes and preferences results in the rich and varied world around us.

Everything that we experience in this human body is spiritual, so our quest for beauty to feed our souls is a spiritual pursuit.  Contrary to what you may have learned as a child, our whole body experience is God-given and everything about it is designed to provide joy and pleasure, and also challenges and learning opportunities. 

Where does our search for beauty become ego-based and not spiritual?  There is a fuzzy line between yearning for beauty to feed our soul and yearning for more and more things because of a need for prestige or social standing.  When does the need for beauty turn the corner into a want for more? 

Each person must examine their own values and motives in seeking beauty.  There is nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting a beautiful house, car, clothing and other accoutrements of the abundant life. If your motive, deep inside, is to acquire more for show or prestige, then that is a want or a grasping.  However, if your deepest motive is to seek beauty in order to live large and abundantly or to seek pleasure in love, then it is a pure desire.  A puritanical approach to abundance, in which you eschew pleasure or worldly possessions to be a good person in God’s eyes, serves no one, including God.  Again, God wants you to experience beauty, pleasure and abundance, because those are integral parts of the human experience - the human experience that God and your soul co-created for you.

And, because no life is without suffering, the experience of beauty provides a contrast to the experience of pain.  In the midst of pain, the most comforting moment can be the recognition of beauty and pleasure - a reminder that life is never all bad.


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Put a Stop to Labeling

October 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

The human brain is wired to instantly categorize everything we perceive.  This is a good thing in life threatening situations, as when you are about to step on a coiled rattlesnake on the ground and your brain calls out an immediate "Freeze!" warning to all muscles.  Other times, however, that instant categorization mechanism that says "coiled snake-like object on ground equals danger!" can trip you up.  What if the snake turns out to be a harmless garden hose?  Your brain has sent a danger signal to your body for no reason.  As you reach higher stages of emotional, moral and spiritual development, you need to check the brain’s instinctual tendency to label items or people as "good" or "bad", "safe" or "dangerous", "us" or "them".  To create a spiritually intelligent workplace, we need to put a stop to labeling by using our higher spiritual powers.

This requires an evolution from duality thinking to "both/and" thinking.  The instinctual part of the brain will continue to instantly categorize things but it is up to the executive function of the brain to translate those black and white judgments into inclusive, non-judgmental and holistic viewpoint. Once this translation is complete, the individual can now act in a considered, inclusive way. It looks like this:

end of labeling

Step three is critical.  This is where the person’s vigilant "observer mind" catches itself doing its normal categorizing. The observer mind is that part of you that is divinely connected and represents your highest self. "Oops," says the observer mind, "Let’s not go there.  What other perspective or viewpoint could I take that is more spiritually mature?" The brain reconsiders, assuming a broader, whole-cosmos perspective, and then chooses the best reaction to the stimulus.  A good way to help your brain assume this whole-cosmos perspective is outlined in a previous post on the heavenly perspective.

This process goes slowly at first, as you engage the observer mind more actively. This requires spiritual will and perseverance to train your mind to catch itself as it jumps to conclusions that may not serve your highest truth.  Persevere! Keep at it!  There are precious rewards, such as increased love, compassion and inner peace, in making progress toward retraining your brain.

This is what the process looks like when you have made progress in re-training your brain to stop labeling:

end of labeling2

The brain takes the high road, so to speak, and bounces lightly into the categorizing and labeling stages but quickly advances to the inclusive thinking. 

You might even get so advanced as to skip steps two and three altogether.  Bravo to you if you are here in your reactions:

end of labeling3

Here are some labels that I’d like to adopt a more inclusive, whole-cosmos perspective of:

Christian vs. Muslim
Theist vs. Atheist
Republican vs. Democrat
Rich vs. Poor
Managers vs. Employees
Man vs. Woman
Straight vs. Gay
Good vs. Evil

I propose that, instead of labeling, we start thinking of all people as simply "children of God", "the Divine’s people" or "souls on a journey together".  Easier said than done, huh?


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Resilience and the Power of the Human Spirit

August 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Alice(2) (2) Alice Lee knows something about being resilient.  She has had to be resilient to survive this far. You see, Alice has spinocerebellar ataxia type 3, an inherited neuro-muscular condition similar to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). The disease is fatal, slowly reducing the person’s mobility and finally shutting down the body. But Alice decided early on in life - or was she just born feisty? - that she would not let adversity take her down forever. She decided to be a survivor, not a victim. “I get down sometimes,” Alice told me, “but I get right back up.”  She means that both figuratively and literally.

Alice tested positive for ataxia in 1995, which killed both her mother and sister and perhaps several other family members, but it wasn’t until 2002 that she started to develop symptoms of the disease. Around that time that she brought a service dog into her life as a constant companion - Morgan, a beautiful golden retriever, who is in the picture, above, with Alice. Morgan knows over 90 voice commands, including “Get the phone, Morgan.”  Alice says that dogs have a tendency to slobber on the phones they fetch, so she buys cheap ones and doesn’t care when Morgan ruins one! It was Morgan who saved Alice’s life in 2003, when she fell while alone in her home and broke her leg - and sprained her ankle.  Morgan came to her side at once, and she told him, “Morgan, get the phone.”  He brought her the phone, to which she had taped a list of the neighbors’ phone numbers.  She was able to call her neighbor to ask for help.

After Morgan came to her aid, Alice was confined to a wheelchair.  She remembers her mother was in a wheelchair for the last ten years of her life, and Alice wanted not to have that kind of life.  She was determined to recover from the accident. “I’m not ready for this,” she declared to herself, referring to the end of her life. Instead of her fall being the beginning of the end, Alice sought out physical therapy and worked hard to regain her ability to walk. She was ambulatory when I met her at Upaya Zen Center in July of this year, five years after the fall.  Her smile and spirit were strong and radiant. However, Alice must practice mindfulness all day, every day, because of her illness. “I have to be aware of where my feet are at all times,” says Alice. “I have to practice mindfulness or I’ll fall.”

I asked Alice about two things: pain and death. When I asked her about what it was like to know that she would die, she said, “We all die. I just have a little more information than most people about how my end will come. I’m not afraid of death, it is a part of the cycle of life. Society makes it scary. I feel that I’ve lived 3 lifetimes. If I die, I die, but I want to be here for my daughters and be a grandmother.”

Regarding pain, Alice said, “You just go through it. You let it come to you, then go through it. It’s your resistance that tries to keep it at bay. I breathe through the pain. When I was working, I had horrible back spasms. I couldn’t make my 30-minute commute without stopping to stretch several times. I would get out of my car, stretch and breathe.”  Alice is grateful for the muscle relaxers and pain medication that keeps the pain at bay, and recommends that others who suffer from pain seek medical help in that way also.

Alice is facing another test of her resilience: Her faithful service dog, Morgan, who has served her so faithfully for more than five years, has developed arthritis and needs to retire from his service dog duties.  Alice needs a new dog that will be trained by Assistance Dogs of the West (a non-profit organization) for the hefty price of $3500.00.  Alice has $1750 already, but needs help raising the other half.  Her dog dancing group, The Santa Fe Dog Dancing Club, is holding a fundraiser for her tomorrow, Friday, August 29, 2008, at which they hope to raise the rest of the purchase price (another $1750.00) for another service dog for Alice.

Alice’s story and her spirit have touched me deeply. Alice is resilient, but she needs our help. Please join me in contributing to the cost of a new service dog to join brave Morgan in caring for Alice.  You can make a tax deductible donation at www.assistancedogsofthewest.org (at the bottom of the page, click on “make a donation”. In the comment field, please type “for the Alice Lee Fund”).  Any amount that you can give from your heart is most welcome! Let’s help Alice stay resilient!

Blessings to all.


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Take Nothing Personally: A Process for Workplace Productivity

July 30, 2008 | 1 Comment

clip_image002The scene: a hip and fashionable downtown restaurant. A high-ranking manager of a technology company and several of his team members are enjoying lunch together to celebrate the team’s recent achievement. As the conversation veers off onto casual topics, one of the employees excitedly explains about a new start-up company for which her cousin was named president, ending with, “Wouldn’t you just love to be in her shoes?” The boss turns to her and says, “You wouldn’t love that - you’d hate it. You wouldn’t be comfortable as an entrepreneur.” The conversation stops briefly as all heads turn to see how the employee would react to the boss’s cutting remark. “Hmmm,” said the employee slowly, “That’s an interesting observation.” The lunchtime chatter quickly turns to another topic.

Take nothing personally – this is easier said than done. The employee in the scenario described above was me, and the conversation took place many, many years ago. I wish I could say that I didn’t take the boss’s remark personally, but honestly, I did for a while. What I realize now is that the boss was speaking from his own perspective, emotions and needs. His opinion of my abilities was colored by his own “stuff”. 

Each of us views life through completely different lenses – it is as if we each wear a different pair of glasses that allow us to focus differently, to block out certain information and to interpret events in a singular way. We take in and process information through our unique lenses, which restricts us to acting solely out of our own perspective. These lenses are colored by our personalities and our talents, which were developed during our formative years. The lenses also reflect our current needs and our previous experiences, especially if they were negative, emotionally-charged events. The brain stores emotional memories so they can be accessed in a nanosecond, causing us to react in a knee-jerk fashion that has little to do with the present situation.

The boss’s words to his employee in the lunchtime conversation were filtered through his lens of needs, personality and emotional experiences. I cannot accurately guess what that lens was, but I know now that it was about him, not about me.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I would choose a different reaction to my boss’ words. Instead of turning his remark inward and taking it personally, I can now see that his remark is coming directly from his lens or perspective of the situation. Here are the steps that I would now take in this situation.

The “Take Nothing Personally” Process:

  1. Stop the knee-jerk reaction: As with most processes, the first step is the most difficult but the most important. To stop a knee-jerk reaction requires a high level of self-awareness – in other words, we need to be aware of our reaction in the moment in order to stop it. Fortunately, we can learn to be aware of our reactions by habitually taking a breath before responding to every situation. Adopt a mental image of yourself as calm and serene in the midst of adversity, which will help you to pause when you are being triggered by someone’s remarks or actions.
  2. Pause. The best way to keep from taking it personally is to redirect your mental energies from the emotional brain to the logical brain. Count to ten – backwards and in French! – is a great way to divert your mind to its analytical, rather than emotional, functions.
  3. Say to yourself, “That’s one person’s opinion.” Remind yourself that the person is speaking or acting from a viewpoint that encompasses their emotional memories, needs and personality. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Without judgment, you might try to imagine what might cause them act or speak as they did.
  4. Take care of yourself. You might affirm yourself by saying, “I know I am a capable, intelligent person.” You might remember a time when you were completely happy or proud of yourself – we call this a “positive anchor”. You might call your partner, best friend or Mom and ask them for a pep talk – and bask in their love.

Taking nothing personally will lighten the emotional and spiritual burden you carry. It will also improve your interpersonal relationships. Imagine the possibilities of a frictionless, productive workplace created by a team that works under the motto of “Take nothing personally!” What a wonderful place that would be.


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Simple Everyday Miracles that We Give Each Other

June 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Most of the time, we go through life totally oblivious to  how our words and deeds can positively affect - indeed, change the course of - another person’s life. It could be a simple observation we say to someone, it could be a random act of kindness (as simple as a smile), or it could be the role model we become for others that can make all the difference.  Several instances have come to my notice this week that remind me of the way we are connected to and bless each other.  And most of the time, we have no idea that we have given a miracle to another person!

Last week, I received an email from a friend who thanked me for helping her get through a tough episode during a recent road trip. I replied to her email saying I didn’t know what I did to help her. She explained that the example I set of praying before meetings at our church gave her a tool and the inner strength to get through that difficult time. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea that I had any influence over her or any other person.

Similarly, I recently received a text message from a friend who thanked me for being an angel for her.  I texted her back to ask if she sent the message to the wrong person!  No, she assured me, I was the intended recipient.  She was thanking me for being there for her during some rough times.

Here’s another example: Several months ago, an executive at a large company hired me to consult with her department.  She assigned a much younger woman to be one of my main contacts for the project.  I took the younger woman to lunch after our project was done, and she told me what an outstanding role model the executive had been to her, teaching her that a woman could be both business-like and caring in a high-level job. With the young woman’s permission, I mentioned her words to the executive, who, like me in the previous stories, was flabbergasted that she had that much influence over another person.

And, the story continues.  That executive (who gave me permission to write about this) recently received a LinkIn.com invitation from another younger woman who thanked her for being a great role model to her.  And get this - this young woman never worked for the executive, but her husband did!

I can think of times when friends and acquaintances have done something for me or said something simple that profoundly affected me and influenced my life’s journey, if only just a tiny bit. Even tiny mid-course corrections can change the ultimate destination of a journey. If you are driving north from Austin, veering left at a critical junction instead of bearing straight can mean the difference between arriving in Dallas or Fort Worth! So that means that I am here, right now, writing to you in this blog because of all the tiny miracles I have so abundantly received, that each changed my life’s course if only a little. It gives me shivers to think about it.

I ask you to do two simple things:

  • Be aware of the simple, everyday miracles that bless your life.  Did someone smile at you at the grocery store?  Did someone hold open a door for you?  Did a co-worker bring you coffee? If you can, make that person’s day by thanking them.
  • Take advantage of opportunities to create a simple, everyday miracle in someone else’s life.  Smile, laugh, love and perform acts of random kindness.  You may never know how you affect another person, but do it anyway. It will make you feel good, even in the middle of a busy, stressful day.


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Memorial Day Tribute to All Families Who’ve Lost a Loved One

May 26, 2008 | 1 Comment

Memorial Day in the US is a day to remember our fallen soldiers. It was always an emotional day for my family of origin, because my Mother lost her twin brother in World War II.  Often, we would travel to Mom’s home town in southern Minnesota on Memorial Day to visit my uncle’s grave and to partake in the town’s festivities.  I remember the parade that featured the high school marching band, the mayor in a convertible and various veterans groups.  The parade would terminate in the town’s cemetery, where my uncle, and now my mother, too, was laid to rest.  From the top of Colonel Culville hill in this beautiful wooded cemetery, various local politicians and clergy would address the gathered crowd. Every year, a local high school student would read the Gettysburg Address, that amazingly brief, quasi-poetic speech that memorializes the ultimate sacrifice made by all US soldiers killed in action. 

Today, I’d like to memorialize the story of my Mother and her brother’s death. There are millions of stories like this, of families losing loved ones in war; this story is mine to share as a tribute to all families who today grieve the loss of a loved one in war. It is a story of love, of loss, and of life.

Jay (my Mom) and her twin, Irving, had a very close, even psychic relationship - they could communicate without speaking. They finished each other’s sentences. They were ying and yang, contrasts combining to make a whole.  Irv had blond, curly hair and was handsome and athletic; Jay had straight brown hair, coke-bottle glasses and was a bit nerdy. They grew up on the family farm in a small rural community in Minnesota.

They attended a Lutheran college together for one year before the winds of war swept through southern Minnesota – even though their other brother was already serving in the Navy Air Force and Irv could have stayed home on the farm, he felt strongly about serving his country in its time of need. Irving enlisted in the Army to become a pilot for the US in World War II.

Unable to continue at the college where they attended classes together, Jay transferred to the university in Minneapolis. It was a desperately lonely time for Jay, who had never been separated from her twin brother.  They wrote long letters to each other, and enjoyed their brief but rare visits with their family on the farm.

One night in November, 1944, Jay was restless. She couldn’t sleep, her thoughts constantly turned toward her brothers who were both on active duty.  Irving’s safety most vexed her – where was he, and what was he doing? She tossed and turned, unable to sleep, fighting a premonition of tragedy. Before dawn the next morning, there was a knock on her door. She opened it to find her Uncle Reuben, who lived nearby, hat in hand and tears streaming down his checks. He whispered, telling her what she already suspected, “Jay, it’s your favorite. It’s Irving.”

Irving had been killed that night at George Field Air Force base in Southern Illinois, a victim of the haste with which this country had entered into the war, a victim of the haste with which the Army Air Force had assembled airplanes during the war. His plane crashed on take-off due to a mechanical failure and killed him instantly. Uncle Reuben took Jay home to her grieving parents. They buried Irving in the town cemetery, next to his best friend in high school, a soldier who had been killed in Europe 6 months before.

I can imagine that memories of that horrible night and the days that followed would come flooding back to my Mother on Memorial Day, as we stood there in the cemetery honoring the sacrifice that Irving made for this wonderful country.  We always cried at the cemetery, just like I am as I write this.

Even though I cannot be there at the cemetery this Memorial Day, in my spirit, I am laying flowers on the gravestone of my Uncle Irving.  I pay tribute to him and to all who have given their lives for their country, and for the families who mourn them.


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Is Your Work Calling You?

May 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment

If your work is calling you, answer the phone! Although the word is not often used in business settings, a "calling" is a deep inner assuredness that the work you do - or will do - is your right livelihood.  A calling is the work you MUST do because you enjoy it, because it uses your strengths, because it serves a need in the world and because the timing is right. If your work is calling you, you are the most fortunate of human beings.

I have been thinking about work that calls people this week. I was catching up with a professional colleague (a help desk manager) who was describing her plans to go back to school to get a theological degree so she could work in hospice situations. I sensed her passion and told her that she was being called to do this work.  My friend was delighted that I recognized the deep knowing and the magnetic pull she felt to do something completely new.  I told her that she was doing the right thing, even though she would be giving up a handsome salary to do what she loved.

How do you know if you are being called to some line of work?  I see four elements that must align to direct you to work that is a calling:

Talent -

You must demonstrate an innate talent or strength for the work you are considering. How can you play to your strengths? You must consider the demands of the work that you are considering and ruthlessly evaluate your talent in that area.  For example, if the job demands that you show strong organizational leadership and you observe that your talents lie in an individual contributor role - well, that’s an obvious mismatch. There is no calling in that work for you. 

Serve a Need -

Is there a sufficient need or a demand for the level of talent that you have in your desired field? Unfortunately in a capitalistic market, demand for your talent is a necessity.  My husband is a classical musician, and he knows that the current demand for orchestral musicians is low (there aren’t many openings in US orchestras that pay a living wage) and the supply is high.  Just before he won the audition for a full-time orchestra position, he recognized that he might need to find another vocation.  He was prepared to go back to school to study accounting if he didn’t win a seat in the orchestra.

Passion -

What makes your heart sing?  What activities allow you to sink into a blissful state of flow, in which you lose track of time because you are completely absorbed in what you are doing?  What would you do even if you didn’t need the money? The answer to these questions direct you to your passion.

Timing -

Many years ago, a colleague refused a job offer I made her, explaining that "Timing is everything, and the timing is just not right for me to take this job." Timing has to be right for you to find your calling.  It’s not enough to have talent, serve a need and have passion, I’m sorry to say.  For example, if you are 40 years old, you cannot decide to become a concert pianist - even if you have the innate musical talent, you will never be able to develop the technical facility that a concert pianist needs.  Your brain discarded the possibility of creating the neural pathways needed for performing piano concertos when you were very young, and there is no way to make up for it.   I started to play the viola at age 16, and it was already too late for me to develop the technique I needed on that instrument to become a successful professional musician.  And believe me, I worked diligently for 9 years in trying. The same can be said for learning new languages or learning an athletic game (like golf) - as an adult learner, you will not be able to attain mastery of that skill because your brain was not trained when it was young and malleable.

I believe that the universe will reward you when you align these four elements - you will know that you are on the right path because opportunities will start to appear, helpful people will come into your life at just the right time and affirming events will happen.  Patience helps when you are making a big change, but the lack of this affirmation could be a warning sign.

What work is calling you?


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30 Seconds is All it Takes

May 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Oprah Winfrey created a blockbuster with her live web class with Eckhart Tolle, author of the book A New Earth.  Over a million people have watched some portion of the ten-week series that highlighted the main concepts of his book.  The staggering popularity of Oprah’s event demonstrates that humans all over the world are becoming aware of the need to awaken to their own spirituality. In his book, Tolle calls this awakening an imperative, given the earth’s ecological peril and the escalation of the human race’s technological ability to destroy life.

In an interview in the May, 2008 O Magazine, Eckart Tolle answered a question about how to become a non-judgmental space - in other words, how do we incorporate a sense of spirituality in everyday life.  In response, he talked about bringing space, or awareness, into your everyday life.  He said, “Bring those spaces into your everyday life, as many as possible….Even the busiest person has time for 30 seconds of space.” (page 299)

We’ve talked about incorporating spiritual practices into everyday life in this blog before - after all, that’s what Brio Leadership does.  Let’s examine again some ways to observe 30 seconds of space in your life:

1.  Breathe. Choose a reminder to consciously take a deep breath at intervals during your day.  I use the sound of the ringing telephone to take a quick but conscious breath.  You might set your clock to discretely chime on the hour, reminding you to breathe.  You might breathe every time you get up from your chair, get in your car, or step out on the street. I make a habit of observing my breath when I am waiting in line.  Hey, it makes the wait go much more quickly!

2.  Observe. Be aware of your surroundings and notice what is different. I notice the changing of the seasons, the emergence of new leaves in the spring and the shedding of them in the fall.  Notice colors, sounds and people around you. One December in the past, I was working in a tall office building. While making small talk before a meeting started, people remarked about the spectacular Christmas decorations that had just been mounted in all the entrances to the building.  My colleague looked up and said, “My goodness, I didn’t even notice them. I guess I should take time to smell the roses!”  How right she was in her figurative allusion to being observant.  We miss so much of life’s rich pageant when we sleep-walk through life. Be observant.

3.  Appreciate. Give thanks for the blessings in your life, both small and large.  I recently looked up while waiting in the car and appreciated the color of the red car that was in front of a dark green tree - I gave thanks for the stark contrast of the red against the green.  Appreciation can be that small. Appreciation can also be transformational.  A friend was on a business trip to Japan on Mother’s Day, feeling sorry for herself because she was separated from her children.  She took out a pen and wrote down all the things she was grateful for in her life. She says her pity party stopped right away.  “I realized I had nothing to be sad about,” she wisely remarked.

4. Smile. Along with appreciating the small blessings in life, appreciate the human beings around you with a smile. It costs you nothing to smile at another sojourner on this spacecraft called Earth, and it can mean so much. Look someone in the eye and smile - yes, even a stranger might smile back at you. See if you can be aware of invisible people - such as the receptionist at work, the waiter and busboy at the restaurant, the checker at the grocery store - and make it a personal challenge to “make their day” with a sincere smile and a short greeting. Sharing a smile is a spiritual practice that bridges our illusionary separateness and acknowledges the oneness of us all.

Why should we take 30 seconds to bring space into our daily lives?  Because it reduces stress, reminds us of our connection to Source, and brings us back to the present moment.  This is enough for me.


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Living as an Everyday Mystic: Weekly Sabbath

May 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment

The first guideline in living as an Everyday Mystic was to have a daily spiritual practice, which you can read about here.  The second guideline is to have a weekly  sabbath time to recharge your batteries.  There are several ways that you can structure your weekly spiritual time, including the following:

1. Communal Worship - Many people find that a church, synagogue or other religious service is helpful in living a spiritual life.  In communal worship, we not only find connection with Source but with other people who may be companions on the Way.  For some, worship may be a walk in the woods with their dog.  For others, it might be a prayer or discussion group.

2. Work sabbath - In this 24/7, always-plugged-in world, it is hard to conceive of a day without work. For some, this may mean disconnecting the Blackberry or cell phone, not logging into email or closing the laptop for a day. I try to be email-free for at least one day during the weekend. Some enlightened companies are realizing the need for an email sabbath and have declared Fridays no-email days.  Can you imagine that people might actually have to talk to each other on Fridays? 

4. TV sabbath - You might consider turning off the TV for one day each week.  Think of the other things that could get done!  When my children were young, we did a variation of this idea - we turned off the TV from Monday morning until Friday after school.  Then the kids could watch as much TV as they wanted for the weekend.  Now that the kids are older, I miss the peace that the no-TV rule created in our home.  Even if you don’t turn off the TV completely, ban violent shows and news for one day. And, to ensure peaceful dreams, think of skipping the nightly news right before bedtime.

5. Reading sabbath - Several spiritual disciplines, such as the Artist Way and the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, ask adherents to take a sabbath from reading any non-essential material for a period of time.  This serves to clear the mind and one’s life of distracting inputs.

6. Mindfulness Day - Thich Nhat Hanh recommends taking a day every week to be completely mindful of everything you do. This is way harder than it sounds! Being completely mindful of everything you do means that you are not making to-do lists in your head while showering, not thinking of the next meeting when you’re in THIS meeting. You know what the weirdest part of doing a mindfulness day at home for me is?  It’s using the toilet without reading something - being completely aware of what your body is doing instead of using the bathroom as the "reading room".  OK, there you have it - true confessions of the all-too-human Everyday Mystic!

What is your weekly sabbath practice?  The Everyday Mystic encourages you to find something that works for you.  By feeding and nourishing your interior life, you keep the exterior life much freer, more peaceful and more productive.


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